Hambone Riley - Little Blue Pill Blues

Hambone Riley's latest, another song written by his buddy Forgotten Bob.  Evidently Bob's been getting inspiration from Hambone's actual experiences trying to cope with his slowing sexual abilities due to age. It happens to almost all men if they live long enough. There's all kinds of treatment for ED now, with Viagra being a popular treatment. But it does have drawbacks, the main one being what Hambone narrates; priapism, an extended erection. First thoughts by a lot of men is that it sounds like a lot of fun! But the truth of the matter is that some extended erections can be very painful, and lead to deforming of the penis. Viagra can cause this in some cases, unfortunately Hambone was one of them. First round of treatments can be cold packs applied and pseudoephedrine (brand name Sudafed) taken. If this doesn't work, then hospital care is needed with a nerve block first tried. Other drugs can be tried, but if no results happen then aspiration with a needle of the blood trapped in the penis.The last resort is surgery where a shunt may be put in.

It's really not a laughing matter. Four hours is the maximum time to let it go if it happens. After that the longer waited the more risk of permanent damage. It can even lead to gangrene  (yikes!) of the penis,  and in that case it's goodbye Little Willie (as Hambone calls his member).

The artwork we've seen of Hambone always has him singing bug eyed like he's seen a ghost. Performers all have their quirks, but it is a little disconcerting when first seen. Forgotten Bob is including Hambone in his gigs to play a few songs now and then, so if anybody can loosen him up it'd be Bob!

I made a trip to the doctor
For a reason I won't disguise
Got a whole lotta trouble
Gettin' Li'l Willie to rise

Doc went all over my health chart
Looking for all of my ills
He said I'm a good candidate
For the little blue Viagra pills

Oh, gimme the prescription, Doc!
I'll go fill it right away!
Try this wonder medicine out
At the end of today!

Me and my baby went to bed
I tol' her all about the pill
She smiled, told me to go take it
And see if it fills the bill!

Took it a while to kick in
We was lovin' away, kissin'
Then she reached down grabbed a handfull
Of what she tol' me she been missin'!

Hot damn! Like a young man again!
It ain't been that pumped up in years!
We kept on humpin' and bumpin'
Tryin' to make it a new career!

We finally collapsed on the bed
We was both totally wore out!
Didn't get no funny feelin'
My Willie was still big and stout!

Goddam! My Willie won't go down!
What in the hell's goin' on?
Cain't fuck no mo, my back is so
I'm tired, breathless and drawn!

I followed what Doc done tol' me
If this kind a thing should happen
Took some other pills, iced it down
Started to hurt, got misshapen

After 4 hours, really in pain
Willie 's head like a big mushroom
Wife tol' me get my clothes on
Goin' to the 'Mergency room.

My pants crotch stuck out like a tent
I was so goddamed embarrassed
Nurse came in to assess my case
Tol' me to strip and get bare assed

Don't wanna know what they did!
Trust me, a hard dick ain't worth it!
Li'l Willie's still achin' and so
'Scription wish I wouldn't have filled it!

No! Not that! Not that big needle!
What in hell are ya doin' with it?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Goddam! My Willie won't go down!
What in the hell's goin' on?
Cain't fuck no mo, my back is so
I'm tired, breathless and drawn!