Sammy And Chief Of Police Confrontation - Travis V. McGonigle

Travis V. McGonigle

 Travis V. McGonigle's saga of The Barber Of Paducah continues! This installment sees theintroduction of another character, the Chief Of Police of Paducah, Captain Morgan. McGonigle keeps plugging away at the revision of the opera that he wrote in 1950. It's never been produced or performed, save for a few isolated excerpts arranged for piano and singer. 

Luigi Trasudante, the tenor who has lead the revision process, is away on other projects right now, but he's left the conductor and musicologist Kennard  Power Milligan in charge. Mr. Milligan has been the conductor of record on all of the recordings thus far, and his expertise is proving invaluable to Mr. McGonigle, although the composer does bellyache at the conductor on occasion, but the conductor takes it all in stride. He believes in the work as much as Mr. Trasudante does. Their excitement about the opera has made us here at Big And Tall Records enthusiastic about the work as well. We recently got a letter from Mr. McGonigle, neatly typed, obviously by the secretary we provided to him, but the language of the letter shows that she typed it as he said it! Here it is:

Dear big shots at Big And Tall Records, 

Howdy to all you big wheels! Sure glad you like what we done so far on my opera. It has sure taken me back 70 years when I was writing it out on hand ruled music paper because I couldn't afford the real stuff! You've been more than kind, more than generous, and I thank you kindly.

But goddammit! Could you get a more obnoxious asshole to help me out than the so-called conductor you sent? I know, you guys are footing  the bill, but shit! You think you got the right to send me your flunky conductor to do what you tell him to? I'll grant you, he knows a hell of a lot more about music theory, repertoire, and all  that shit! But he don't know nothing about the style of my music! Jesus Christ on a goddam cracker, going to rehearsals with this guy is torturing my old ears! I tell him to slow it down a tad, he wants to argue. I tell him to speed it up a mite, he wants to argue! Same way with louder, softer, blah, blah,blah, goddam blah! He needs to get over his high and mighty self, and do what the fuck he's told! He ain't the son of a bitch what composed the thing! Let him compose  his own goddam opera, and he can have all the say so he wants! I ain't a member of his orchestra he can fancy pants around and bully what to do!

Sincerely,

The old goddam grouch!

 We've since reached out to the composer, and he told us he was 'just blowin' off steam'. So everything is well...for now!On to the latest installment:

To set the scene: After Sammy roused up the men in town that afternoon, they've all met as his hardware store that evening. The men are armed with all kinds of weapons to intimidate the two brothers at Luigi's barber shop in hopes to scare them out of town. 

SAMMY SPEAKING TO THE MOB OF MEN THAT HAVE GATHERED AT HIS STORE: 

You ready to get rid of them damned Italians? 

Your hand and eye steady? 

It might get pretty rough, 

Tell me, ARE YOU READY? 

 

We're gonna go outside, and up the street. 

Gather people to join that we happen to meet! 

This is something we gotta do! 

To make sure all their shit is through! 

 

 Don't be worried 'bout the law! 

They ain't gonna do nothin'! 

We'll be waitin' 'til hell freezes over, 

Before they'll do somethin'! 

 

When I open up the door, 

I'll lead the way! 

It's not too far up the road, 

Tell me. what do ya say?

 

We're gonna go outside, and up the street. 

Gather people to join that we happen to meet! 

This is something we gotta do! 

To make sure all their shit is through! 

 

But just as Sammy opens the door, the Chief of Police, Captain Morgan, is on the other side and breaks the crowd up, as well as giving some good advice to Sammy. Captain Morgan shows that he's known about Luigi's goings on for a while, and that he knows the secret behind Sammy's rage. 

CAPTAIN MORGAN BREAKING UP THE CROWD

 

Hey Sammy! I hear tell ya'll thinkin' 'bout causin' a disturbance. At the barber shop of the two Italians. Never mind who told me. Let me tell ya'll somethin'. Ain't gonna let ya do it, no how, no way! Set yourself down ,and let me tell ya what we're doin' about it! We've got a passel of complaints against 'em from lots of folks, mostly against Luigi. So here's what I done. 

 

Called over to the Sheriff's office of McCracken County*, 

Way on the other side of town, 

and told him what's goin' down. 

We're usin' one of the county detectives undercover 

to see if he can discover 

Stuff goin' on.

 

 Can't just go arrest them fellers less, 

we know fer sure they're makin' a mess, 

Breakin' the law, ya'll understand? 

Let the police protect the land! 

 

Most the complaints been filed 

From you guys that's gone wild 

When the barber shop opened up. 

With all the whores, gamblin' and booze, 

Was a lot of fun for you guys to choose, 

Until Luigi done somethin' ya'll didn't want to pass, 

Now ya wanna go over there and kick his ass! 

 

Ain't gonna arrest them fellers unless, 

we know fer sure they're makin' a mess, 

Breakin' the law, ya'll got it? GOT IT? 

Let the police protect the land! 

 

All you fellers, go on home and behave! No reason to holler and raise yer fists! Ain't a gonna be nobody taking the law in their own hands, Listen! Shore ain't gonna be vigilante bullshit as long as I'm chief of police!

 

Can't just go arrest them fellers less, 

we know fer sure they're makin' a mess, 

Breakin' the law, ya'll understand? 

Let the police protect the land! 

 

I mean what I say, no vigilante bullshit! If anythin' happens, I'll go right down the goddam line and throw each one of your asses in jail for disturbin' the peace. NOW GO ON HOME, ALL OF YOU!

 

 As for you, Sammy....I know why you're so mad. Nothin' gets by us in this town. We know Luigi slept with yer wife. We know she wants a divorce. You’re gonna have to control yourself, my friend. Gettin' a piece of Luigi in revenge ain't gonna make nothin' easier. Ya'll need to talk, I'm here for you. We've known each other a long time, and I can't imagine how you're hurtin'. You got lots of friends 'round here you grew up with. Don't throw it all away by doin' somethin' stupid!

 

*Paducah is the county seat of McCracken county, Kentucky