Forgotten Bob - The Smegma Rock

 The first song that Forgotten Bob sent us here at Big And Tall Records was The Turd In The Punchbowl, a commentary on President Trump. After various other songs, on  this his tenth recording for us he's come full circle and adds to his commentary in no uncertain terms. He pulls no punches in his criticism, and he does it to his usual rock-a-billy beat. But he goes further and criticizes the entire MAGA movement, and equates it to...well...the title of the song tells that tale! If there's one thing we know about Forgotten Bob, you never know what his next offering will be. But it's seldom boring! 

I'm wonderin', what in the  hell,
'Bout all the people still supportin' him
As long as that mindset is to tell,
Chances of improvement are mighty slim...
 
They call themselves the name of futility,
An acronym for they're beliefs, it's MAGA
But in the way of politics, it really should be
What's under the foreskin of a dick...SMEGMA!
 
Since last year when I stated my case,
Laid out my thoughts of Donald Trump
Said he was a nasty turd in our punchbowl,
Gotten worse as he sits on his rump!
 
Murdered civilians, broken up families,
Shifted more money to his rich bastard kind
There is no end to his causing calamities,
And to top it all off, he's losing his mind
 
They call themselves the name of futility,
An acronym for they're beliefs, it's MAGA
But in the way of politics, it really should be
What's under the foreskin of a dick...SMEGMA!
 
His followers worship his wrinkled little cock
And think that'll "affect them all but me"
So busy dancing to the smegma rock
That they really don't want to try and see!
 
Is there any hope that we will survive?
Each day it's getting worse and worse
Will there be a change to keep us alive
Or are we stuck in the gear of reverse?
 
They call themselves the name of futility,
An acronym for they're beliefs, it's MAGA
But in the way of politics, it really should be
What's under the foreskin of a dick...SMEGMA!
 
We're in a goddam war he said wouldn't happen,
His defenders don't give a shit that he lied,
It's true every time his lips start to flappin',
He could not tell the truth if he tried!
 
Ain't true that nothin' can possibly be done!
If Republicans work with Democrats to pass
Working together, fights can be won
But the Elephant has turned into a cowering ass!
 
King Donald, much more radiant than Christ
His followers pray to him and offer thanks
While everything gets so damned overpriced
And the economy continues to tank
 
Trump probably won't ever be held accountable,
 He'll die first. But every one of his opportunistic
Smegma helpers need to be held accountable for
 Their part in the endless cooperation in the corruption
 Of THE TURD IN THE PUNCHBOWL!
With a special nod to his butt boy, toy soldier
WHISKEY PETE! And let the truth contained in
The Epstein files condemn his memory as a
FUCKER OF CHILDREN...FOREVER!

Forgotten Bob - Rock-a-Billy Baby

 Forgotten Bob has a group of hardcore fans, and one of them is a young woman that he's told us is always there at his gigs dancing. So Bob wrote this song for her, and he plays it at every gig he plays! 

She's a Rock a billy baby!
Music makes her move her feet
Loves it and proud, never too loud
Rock a billy makes her complete!
 
When she first heard Rock a billy
She was barely out the cradle
Her Mama said when she heard it
She beat out  time with a ladle
 
But it wasn't just in passing
Something she finally outgrew
Rock a billy stuck in her ears
Like it had been covered with glue!
 
She's a Rock a billy baby!
Music makes her move her feet
Loves it and proud, never too loud
Rockabilly makes her complete!
 
Now she's got her honey with her
He likes Rock a billy too
They listen to it all the time
Can't get enough it is true
 
They both dress the part, oh yeah
She wears a red halter dress
He wears a t-shirt and leather
Hair piled up neat not a mess!
 
She's a Rock a billy baby!
Music makes them move their feet
And every chance, go out and dance
Rockabilly  makes 'em complete!

Forgotten Bob - Oh, Baby Oh, Baby

 As Forgotten Bob says in hiss latest Oh, Baby Oh, Baby, he has 8(!) children by his wife, who he's been married to for many years. Their romance started way back when they were both into the punk rock scene, and as could be expected in the early 1990's no one thought their relationship would last. The punk scene was rather looked down upon as degenerate and immoral. some of it probably was, but these two prove that love is love, and they hung in together. 

They both grew out of the punk scene when they started having babies. Bob got a good paying job (he was always a whiz with numbers and computers) and quit playing music in public until a few years ago. He took an early retirement from a lucrative job after he saved up his money. He's told us they hardly have had any disagreements after over 30 years of marriage. He said  the only thing she insisted upon was that he get the tattoos removed from his hands, and he did. He attributed a lot of their long marriage in the fact that neither one was into drugs. He admitted to smoking until he quit playing, and a few beers now and then. He's told us so many he knew that were in the punk rock scene back then were into drugs, and he saw more than his share of friends meet a sad end.

His music now is what he calls 'rockabilly', but he lapses back into rock and roll on occasion, as in this song. He did tell us he never quit playing his guitar, most every day. And all eight of their children are musically talented, with one even studying to be a classical pianist! His wife doesn't play an instrument, but she was a singer and still has a decent voice he tells us, but he can't get her to sing on a recording. 

We've been mighty curious about how Bob looked in his punk days, and we finally tracked down a picture! Take a look at this young man in the bloom of his punk youth!

A marked difference with the way he looks now! There were no actual photos. He's always had a lot of artists friends that did portraits of him from the beginning. We emailed this picture to him asking if he knew who it was, and it wasn't 5 minutes later when he called us back. "Where in hell did you get THAT?" he asked with a laugh. "Good gravy, that was 35 years ago!" We told him we couldn't reveal our sources. He said, "Now you know why I said in one of my songs that I still got all the holes in my face where all the jewelry went!  And the 'tats! Holy cow, it was misery gettin' them! But ya couldn't be a punk back then if ya didn't have' em. Only one thing worse then getting 'em, that's having 'em removed! About killed my hands to get them taken off!"

 

 I met a woman long time past
She done it for me from the start
Ended up we got together
I finally followed my heart

But it took a bit to begin
It started to mess up my head
I got frustrated and angry
This is what I finally said

Oh baby, oh baby, sweet babe
Can't you open your heart for me
I cannot live without your love
Oh pretty baby can't you see?

All my pesterin' had results
Agreed to go out on a date
My heart 'bout beat outa my chest
So excited, could hardly wait

Didn't have much money back then
So we had some burgers and fries
Ended up talkin' for hours
Kept it honest, told her no lies

Oh baby, oh baby, sweet babe
You opened your heart to me
I cannot live without your love
Oh pretty baby you can see!

I met a woman long time past
She done it for me from the start
Ended up we got together
I finally followed my heart

We been through some very tough times
But we stuck it out together
Still go out for burgers and fries
Couldn't have done me no better

Oh baby, oh baby, sweet babe
Still got your heart open to me
Ain't had to live without your love
Pretty baby, lucky for me!

Yeah man! Still together. After 8 kids!
You heard me! They're all growed,
just my baby and me, lots of
Grandbabies. We still boogie.

Forgotten Bob - A Rockabilly Christmas

 We were at first surprised when Forgotten Bob sent us his Christmas song A Rockabilly Christmas, but
when were reminded he's got 8 kids, all of them grown up and babies of their own, it stands to reason Bob being the family man that he is would host a Christmas party.  We can just imagine the noise, bustle, and fun of having a houseful. And when they all tune up and start jammin'...we can't imagine how that would sound. We know all of his kids are musical. Some guitarists for sure, a drummer, and a classically trained pianist! And we like the line:  We're all different, ain't it true! Celebrate how it's right for you!  Indeed!

All eight of our kids will be here
For our Christmas celebration
A really big house full for sure
For our holiday libation

Some of them got their own babies
They all add to the party
All bring food and drink to pass
So we'll eat and drink real hearty

It's a rockabilly Christmas
Later we take guitars in hand
And blare out some songs of good cheer
With our own family band!

It all starts on Christmas Eve
When they all trickle in
Got our big table all set up
So the feasting begins

Ham, turkey, great big beef roast
All kinds of cheese and cold cuts
Some wander around, yak and graze
Some wanna sit on their butts!

It's a rockabilly Christmas
Later we take guitars in hand
And blare out some songs of good cheer
With our own family band!

We love Christmas, watching TV
With the kids cookies in hand
Like How The Grinch stole Christmas
And good ol' Frosty The Snow Man!

Might seem really strange to you
Celebrate with a big to-do
We're all different, ain't it true!
Celebrate how it's right for you

It's a rockabilly Christmas
Later we take guitars in hand
And blare out some songs of good cheer
With our own family band!

Merry Christmas!
Huh, huh, huh
Merry Christmas!
How, how, how
Merry Christmas!
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Merry Christmas
Peace on earth!

It's a rockabilly Christmas
Later we take guitars in hand
And blare out some songs of good cheer
With our own family band!

Forgotten Bob - Ain't Nothin' Gonna Go On!

 Forgotten Bob was out of circulation for a number of years as he retired from the punk rock scene to help raise his eight kids with his wife! But he wasn't completely retired from music during those times. He took on guitar students, learned how to read music and took courses in music theory, and began writing songs. A big pile of songs, lyrics and music! Now some of that music is coming to light, with Bob sharing some of his titles with his old friend Hambone Riley. 

The song Ain't Nothin' Gonna Go On!was inspired by an event in Bob's later life. As he related the story to us here at Big And Tall Records, he was napping in his chair one evening when his wife walked in and began to put some romantic moves on him. Bob was not in the mood, and had to turn his wife away (which hasn't happened much in their marriage as eight kids will serve as proof!) As she sat on his lap some of the lyrics of  this song came to mind. 

The song is delivered in what has become Bob's classic Rockabilly style, but Bob acknowledged he was curious how the song would work in other styles. So he sent the melody and chord symbols to other artists at Big And Tall Records, and Hambone Riley and Amos Carter have come up with their own versions of the song that will be recorded and released!

By the way, it's nice to see what Forgotten Bob looks like in an actual photograph instead of an artist's rendering!

UPDATE:  We at Big And Tall Records just sent Bob the recordings of the Amos Carter and Hambone Riley covers of his song, and he's delighted!

Got support socks on, ain’t no lie
Just ‘nough asprin to get me by
Got all kinds a aches and pains
Think I gotta an ankle sprain

Ask to boogie, ain’t gonna fly
Do I have to tell ya the reason why
I got the old man fidgets
All the way down to my digits

Look out pretty Mama
Ain't nothin’ gonna go on
Said lookout cute Mama
Ain't nothin’ gonna go on
Gotta pain in my back and it’s
Kept me all awake until dawn

Ain't no wonder why I got the ills
I forgot to take all my pills
Someone said the first thing to go
Don't have a clue what it was though

Got a bad case of the heart burn
Eat the wrong stuff won't ever learn
Got the urge but it's just all talk
Got nothin' left to walk the walk

Look out pretty Mama
Ain't nothin’ gonna go on
Said lookout cute Mama
Ain't nothin’ gonna go on
Gotta bad case of the trots
I just feel so put upon

I know it's only ten o'clock
But I'm all wore out, really shot
Could do it all night, never quit
Now it takes all night to do it!

Snack all night and watch some TV
Catch old movies, just you and me
Now I just lost all of my class
All it does is give me bad gas!

Look out pretty Mama
Ain't nothin’ gonna go on
Said lookout cute Mama
Ain't nothin’ gonna go on
Ya know that I love ya babe
But ain't nothin' gonna go on

Look out pretty Mama
Wish somethin' was gonna go on
Said lookout cute Mama
Wish somethin' was gonna go on
Ya know that I love ya babe
But there ain't nothin' gonna go on
 

Forgotten Bob - Gotta Gimme Rockabilly!

 Forgotten Bob remains an enigma. He sings his latest song about being all about Rockabilly, and he certainly isn't the Punk Rock musician he used to be. But his loud clothes and piled up hair extends the usual image of a Rockabilly artist, such as Elvis Presley, or Carl Perkins. But as he says in this song, he's ditched all of his gaudy punk jewelry. We've been told by people that knew him back then that he had the works, spikes in his ear, nose rings, chain going from the nose ring to an earring,  and some piercings of some very private areas we'll not mention. He has changed, but he's still out there, especially some of the songs he's writing for his favorite blues man, Hambone Riley.

His manager texted us and said that Bob's interest in politics has waned, probably take a break from it which is okay by us. We're interested in seeing where he goes next!

 Way long ago in the day
Now to me it sounds so silly
I had somethin' diff'rent to say
Playin' loud, screamin' and shrilly

Thank God it was long time ago
Hate stuff played so willy nilly
I growed up and sing better stuff
Now I'm about ROCKABILLY!

Gotta gimme Rock a billy!
Combo of country and rock
That's become my musical role
Sure ain't no Mozart or Bach!

Got rid most of my jewelry
Still got the holes in my face it went
Studs, rings, chains and the works
Sold it to help pay my rent

Can't say I fully repent
Still like my high greasy hair
My clothes are on the wild side
But now I wear underwear (tighty whiteys!)

Gotta gimme Rock a billy!
Combo of country and rock
That's become my musical role
Sure ain't no Mozart or Bach!

Closed the door, ain't goin' back
Ain't playin' nothin' frilly
The past is just what it is
The present is ROCKABILLY!

Gotta gimme Rock a billy!
Combo of country and rock
That's become my musical role
Sure ain't no Mozart or Bach!

Way long ago in the day
Now to me it sounds so silly
I had somethin' diff'rent to say
Playin' loud, screamin' and shrilly

Thank God it was long time ago
Hate stuff played so willy nilly
I growed up and sing better stuff
Now I'm about ROCKABILLY!

Gotta gimme Rock a billy!
Combo of country and rock
That's become my musical role
Sure ain't no Mozart or Bach!
 

Forgotten Bob - What In The Hell, Kash Patel!

Forgotten Bob continues his onslaught of the Trump Administration and the department leaders he appointed. Kash Patel ,the director of the F.B.I. is the current subject. The song is a classic rocker with a sax player that wails some solos. We called Bob's manager, a guy that goes by the name of Bodacious Marlin that everybody calls BM for short, to see if he could find out the name of the sax player to give him credit on the record. He got in contact with Bob and Bob told him that the guy goes by the name of Slobberin' Blowhard, and that he would rather not be named on the recording, as Slobber doesn't want any publicity because of his past... The more we get involved with Forgotten Bob, the more we think we're getting our collective leg pulled! But what the hell, the music is interesting.  Once again, the picture he sent along with the music is a different one, still an artwork by somebody. He always looks different, must be part of his mystique...

What in the hell, Kash Patel
Ever thought much about it?
Only reason you got the job
Put yer lips on his ass and kissed it!

A pledge of total loyalty
Of that you all are behooved
Even tried to start some shit
Even before you were approved

Vowed to bring to justice all
The enemies of Dear Donald
Man, that's a hell of a list,
It include Ronald McDonald?

What in the hell, Kash Patel
Ever thought much about it?
Only reason you got the job
Used yer hand to try and stroke it!

Teamed up with Stephen Miller
Over immigration
Be careful who ya hitch up with
You'll be in a situation

This bunch in charge of the place
Are prone to ICE aggression
Any shade darker than whitey
May be subject to deportation

What in the hell, Kash Patel
You say yer a citizen?
Better blow Trump's bugle harder
Arrest has happened to dozens of 'em!

Yer the head of the FBI
Workin' with the Blondie lady
Need to change the name to FBC
To FEDERAL BATSHIT CRAZY!

You better pray Trump don't drop dead
You'll be fucked for a change yerself
Won't nobody trust your ass now
When the next asshole comes off the shelf

Forgotten Bob - Blondie Bondi

Forgotten Bob is quite the political animal, as his 2nd song for Big And Tall Records is a song critical of Pam Bondi, Attorney General. We just learned that when he was in retirement he went back to school and got a Bachelor's degree in political science! Now just where on the political map he is we're not sure, but it's obvious he's sure not a Trump administration fan.  

He shows a little of his past punk rocker days in this song as he does some howling and moaning. The song's got the hard driving rhythm that is getting to be a trademark, at least in the 2 songs he's recorded. We've heard he's got an entire catalog of songs about this administration and he's eager to record them. We'll take a look at anything he has, that's for sure! We keep bugging him for a picture of himself, but all he sends us is drawings, more like cartoon caricatures of his appearance. He looks different in each one that he's sent! So we remain uncertain how he really looks, but the associate who's seen him says the caricatures do him justice. He never looks the same twice in person either!

 Blondie Bondie is her name
Donald's ego is her game
All he has to say is what to do
She'll make it right afore she's through

She was picked for loyalty
Don't nothin' else matter
To Donny gotta bend the knee
Stroke him, praise him, always flatter

It's retribution time says Trump
So Blondie Bondie takes the stump
Takes directions from the master
Starts the ball rolling faster and faster

She was picked for fealty
Don't nothin' else matter
Drum up cases you'll see
Even if it's fecal matter

Clinton, Bill and Hillary
Are headed for the pillory
Biden and Obama too
On bogus charges she'll construe

And what 'bout them Epstein files?
Gotta hide 'em, use her wiles
So she redacts the files with a pass
And parks them under her ass!

She treats Trump like royalty
Don't nothin' else matter
Gonna hide all his cruelty
And the truth will scatter

I wonder if she goes on the make
As a 13 year old for Donald's sake
And tweaks his dead male libido
As he drifts off into limbo

What will it be next, you all ask
How will Trump take her ass to task
Long list of people was nasty
Shooting for number one patsy

Treats Trump with unreality
Don't nothin' else matter
And keeps up her mentality
While Trump's lies keep growin' fatter!

Forgotten Bob - The Turd In The Punch Bowl

We are proud to debut the work of a new artist; Forgotten Bob! We wonder sometimes about a few of our associates and the venues they haunt to find some of these musicians. Forgotten Bob is a mystery as far as his family background and origins, but he's got a musical history that's long and varied. We'll let our associate that found him tell about it:

 I like to haunt dark-lit, out of the way, obscure places where music is played. Bar and grills, dives, holes in the wall, you name it and I've probably been  there or heard about it.  I found the dump that Forgotten Bob was playing in purely by accident. It was down a dark alley, with but one dim, bare bulb lighting the doorway with a sign on it that read:

FREETHINKING ADULTS ONLY! 

Well that was enough for me! There was a few tables in front of a battered bar with an old lady bartender. Men were sitting at the bar, couples at the tables.  The place was dimly lit, save for a small platform at the end of the room. There was a small band tuning up, a bass, drums, keyboard, a guitarist, and an other guitarist at the microphone giving the pitch. He was an older guy, a little weather-beaten. I could tell he'd been playing guitar for a long, long time by the look of his hands; signs of arthritis in his finger joints that had big knots. It took them a log time to tune up, as the guy at the mic kept cussing the others out for not being in tune. Finally, the drummer counted them down and they started. I admit I was surprised to hear what came out; a tight band playing in strict time, with the bass guitar laying down a solid beat. The guy at the mic had a voice that you could tell had been well used, but he sang well enough, and the first song he did was this one - THE TURD IN THE PUNCH BOWL. Well, I liked the performance and the song, so between sets I introduced myself to the band. The only one that spoke was Bob. I asked him what the deal was with the Forgotten Bob business, and he said he used to be heavy into the Punk Rock scene years ago, retired to have a family, and when his eight (!) kids were all grown he decided to try and get back into the business. He couldn't handle the punk scene anymore, and told me there ain't nothin' sadder than a geriatric punk! So he started a band to play whatever they wanted. Rock, Rockabilly, Country, right down the line. He wears his hair really long and piled on top his head. Must take a can or two of hairspray to keep it there because he really moves when he sings! He kept up his chops the whole time he was retired, and he's good!

And that's the low down. Forgotten Bob gave our associate the picture of him we've used, said an artist friend did it for him.

 Never before in our history
A convicted felon got the position
Look up grifter in the dictionary
You'll see his picture, no definition

In the crystal punch bowl of our land
Trump's made a plop like a big ol' TURD
Don't know if his actions we can stand
Or if the country can live past his words

Has lots of trouble making up his mind
First his thoughts are down, then they are up
But I think his problem you will find
He's really got no mind to make up

In the crystal punch bowl of our land
Trump bobs and floats like a big ol' TURD
Don't know if his actions we can stand
Or if the country can live past his words

He uses the office to sell his merch
Like bit coin and imported bibles
Perfume that smells like body stench
Books of wisdom that are just libels

In the crystal punch bowl of our land
Trump taints the punch like a big ol' TURD
Don't know if his orders we can stand
Or if the country can live past his words

How in hell did he survive his past?
Well, had plenty of help in that regard
Could've got rid of him in the past
But his party just saved the retard

He was out of office, steeped in limbo
And his party years later saved him again
With his views and mouth still akimbo
Still got elected to office again!

In the crystal punch bowl of our land
Trump fouls the punch like a big ol' TURD
Don't know if his orders we can stand
Or if the country can live past his words

Don't drink none a that there punch!
It tastes like SHIT!
How can we get past the asshole?
How can we get past the asshole?
How can we get past the asshole?