Gummer Beaudine - Pretty Hunk Of Honky Tonk!

Gummer Beaudine is one of our raunchier artists, and she's got a solid hard-core group of followers that frequent her gigs at local gin mills.  She's a pretty tough cookie, having lasted through some rough relationships, working in industry for a long time, and playing venues that used to have a curtain of chicken wire between the band and the audience to prevent flying objects from hitting them.  Big Marv, one of our resident producers and mentors, as well as a fine musician himself, took Gummer under his wing early on. Now Big Marv is no stranger to raunchy, but after her first few records he quit mentoring her and producing her songs. He said she didn't need him, she'd figured it all out and was tougher than he was!

That Gummer would write and perform a song about a man she has the hots for is pretty typical. She's aggressive, she can be nasty, and she's talented! We at Big And Tall Records appreciate her unique perspectives and talents!  

Favorite place for me to play is a gin mill next town over
Got a good clientele and none of ‘em are sober
Lots a drinkin’, dancin’, behavior goin’ too far
But the best thing ‘bout it is the hunk that's tendin’ bar!
 
He’s a handsome son of a gun, sends ma heart to shiver
Ever time I see him my lady parts begin to quiver
Give me the chance, I’d ride him like a bronc!
He’s jest a big old pretty hunk of honky tonk!
 
His name is Jerry and ever time I'm around him
Wanna grab him by his hips and guide it right in
I imagine goin' in his jeans and seein' what I'd find
DAMN, it makes me wanna do the bump and grind!
 
He says he's married already, but I don't give a shit
Don't wanna cause a divorce, jest fuck a little bit
He says he will be true, and that he jest won't
But I sure as hell won't tell no body if'n he don't!
 
He’s a handsome hunk of a man, sends ma heart to shiver
Ever time I see him my lady parts begin to quiver
Give me the chance, I’d ride him like a bronc!
He’s jest a big old pretty hunk of honky tonk!
 
I tol' my current boyfriend to please be aware
I see Jerry I just can’t help but stare
Wanna dance with him, do the spin and twirl
And later take him home and ride him cowgirl!
 
Jerry what a hunk! What a man!
Jerry what a stud! Get him if I can!
Jerry be my lover! Let's let off steam!
Jerry come on over! Oh, I can dream!
 
He’s a handsome hunk of a man, gives ma heart a rush
Ever time I see him my old body starts to flush
Give me the chance, I’d ride him like a bronc!
He’s jest a big old pretty hunk of honky tonk!

Gummer Beaudine - I Believe In Me, And Let Be!

 Gummer Beaudine returns with a song in her aggressive style in the song I Believe In Me, And Let Be! We're not sure where all the aggression stems from, but far be it from us here at Big And Tall Records to be amateur psychologists. What we do know is that Gummer's had a tough life, and is proud of how she's evolved to such a tough nut. Unfortunately, being a woman in modern times still has more than its share of prejudice and injustice. We like to think that we're more enlightened, and that's not to deny that progress has been made in gender and race relations. Progress has been made, but progress needs to continue! 

Be all that as it may, Gummer has shown that she has many moods and is capable of expressing herself very well; sometimes more subtly than this song where she's pretty much in the listener's face. But we like her music, her many moods, and we know better than to mess with Ms Beaudine!

You say you just don't like me

You say I'm too goddam crude
You say I ain't worth nothin'
You say I'm nasty and rude
 
Why ya'll think that it matters
I know I ain't all refined
So if ya'll got a bone to pick
Just take your place back the line!
 
Don't matter ‘t all to me  ass hole
What ya'll might think 'bout me
What ya see is what ya get
I believe in me, and let be!
 
Last I heard you ain't my boss
So ya'll can jest kiss my ass!
I'm proud where I come from
My roots in the workin' class
 
Worked ever day for years
In a shitty factory
Makin' goddam widgets
Wages unsatisfactory
 
Don't matter ‘t all to me  ass hole
What ya'll might think 'bout me
What ya see is what ya get
I believe in me, and let be!
 
Dealt with my share of bastards
Dealt with my share of cheats
But none the f*ckers ever
Drove me to final defeat
 
Yeah, I can be a real bitch
Not always proud of the fact
Sometimes I wish I wasn't
That I had more ease and tact
 
But I could wish in one hand
And collect shit in t'other
But I know which would fill up first
So I ain't a gonna bother
 
Don't matter ‘t all to me  ass hole
What ya'll might think 'bout me
What ya see is what ya get
I believe in me, and let be!
 
Hell no it don't matter at all
Couldn't give a shit any less
Too damned old to change my ways
That I'm willin' to confess
 
Seen it! Done it! Lived through it!
Bought a f*ckin' T shirt
And I ain't goin' back...

Gummer Beaudine - The Elf On The Shelf!

 There's no doubt about it, the artists here at Big And Tall Records are sending us some different songs for Christmas. And this new one by Gummer Beaudine fits right in with her catalog. She's never been one to mince her words in any song she's  sent us, and this one is no exception. The Elf On The Shelf! is about her dislike for the 21st Century Christmas tradition, in no uncertain terms. 

The Elf On The Shelf started out as a family tradition with Carol Aeborsold's family when she was a little girl, and was extended to her own family when she had children of her own. She wrote a book about it in 2005 along with her author daughter, and another daughter joined the other two with her knowledge of marketing and they began going to book signings and trade fairs. The book included an Elf doll as well as instructions to carry on the tradition. Essentially, the elf on the shelf watches children, and when the children are asleep, the elf reports back to the North Pole and tells Santa how the children behaved; whether naughty or nice. It returns every morning before the children wake up and assumes a different place than before. This goes on until Christmas Eve, when the elf's mission is complete and he disappears back to the North Pole until next year. Children are not allowed to touch the elf, can tell it their Christmas wishes. 

The book slowly gained in popularity until in 2013 it hit the No. 1 spot on USA Today's bestseller list. There has been opinions by professional children's counselors that condemn the book as just a market ploy to make money at the expense of creating childhood anxiety at Christmas time, while other have enjoyed the book and tradition with their family. By 2023, the book was earning $100,000 million annually, and have made the three that wrote and marketed it multi millionaires. The three women went on to create their own publishing firm and grown the book into a global phenomenon.  

After listening to Gummer's lyrics, it's obvious what side she's on! But all it takes is something people can latch on to that they think is good! Whether you think  the idea is cute, or like Gummer, stupid, it's hard to argue with success! By the way, we were kind of at a loss as to what picture to use for a heading for this post, so we asked Ms Beaudine if she had a preference. She sent us the picture at the top of  this post!

Ev'ry Christmas, I travel around
To each one of my kids own place
Like to see all my Grandkids
Giggly, with smiles on their face

The decorations are pretty
They make me smile to myself
But one thing gets my dander up...
IF I SEE THE ELF ON THE SHELF!

Who in hell thought up that dumb thing?
Ain't nothin' but a Santa snitch!
They report back, Any and all lack
Of kids bein’ good, what a bitch!

Some woman started it all
With their family tradition
And wrote it all in a book
With detailed instructions

Tell the elf yer Christmas wishes
And then when the kids dreamin' deep
He flies back to the North Pole
Rats out the kids while fast asleep

Tells Santa all the naughty stuff
The kids did all through the day
So Santa can punish them all
Not git what they want Christmas Day!

Who in hell thought up that dumb thing?
Ain't nothin' but a Santa snitch!
They report back, Any and all lack
Of kids bein’ good, what a bitch!

Why not turn yer own tradition
Into a money-makin' farce?
Use it to control yer kids
My patience fer it is sparse!

The book tells ya to name the elf
Each day put him a different place
I'd call the shit-head rat asshole!
Throw him down and stomp on his face!

I know where I'd put the butt hole
Chuck him in a burnin' fire place
Tell all of 'em responsible
That's the end of this sorry case!

Who in hell thought up that dumb thing?
Ain't nothin' but Santa’s bitch!
They done it to make big money
People thought it up sure got rich!

Don't control yer kids with a dumb idea!
They got 'enough worries of their own
Without addin' this nonsense to it!
Teach yer kids the right way!
By what ya do, as much as what you say!
Don't depend on a goddam expensive, cheaply made
Elf doll!

 

Gummer Beaudine - Doomed To Never Last

This new song Doomed To Never Last by Gummer Beaudine is a departure from her usual amalgamation of styles like barrelhouse juke joint, country, raunchy, boogie-woogie, a raucous style she uses to good effect in the gin mills she's played in for years.  When she first came to Big And Tall Records after a recommendation from an associate,  we took live recordings made at her gigs for release. But after a couple of cover songs of our other artists, she began to write her own songs. A lot of her development can be attributed to Big Marv, our general producer and musician. He talked to us about her after recording this song:

 

Ms. Beaudine will always have a rough edge to her, and that's a big part of her style. For years she sang in nothing but cheap gin mills, some of them so nasty there would be chicken wire in front of the stage so the musicians wouldn't get hit by beer bottles or God knows what else! So she's earned her toughness, and gave as good as she got. She's got a regular circuit now, and the crowds love her. An example of an artist playing to what the crowd likes, and there's nothing wrong with that.

But from the beginning, I saw something more to her than that. It's taken a lot of talking and coaxing for her to change things up once in a while. But when you're used to playing certain music, and confident you can play it well, it can be hard to shift gears. So I was surprised when she came to me with this song. She wrote the whole thing, music and words, as well as worked out the instrumentation. She's known for playing with basically the some group; a piano, saxophone, drums, and her guitar. Once in a while she'd have some extra guitars. But she started to get into using a few different instruments. This song is sparse, and has no piano or saxophone, and includes a violin! She instructed the violinist in what she wanted, and eschewed playing the guitar herself. It's the first time she's been just a singer and not an instrumentalist as well. 

The song is a very personal one about a love she lost years ago, something she's not done before with us. The violin sighs and cries, the guitar lays down a steady beat, and her voice! It's got a roughness to it that underlines the pain she still feels about this lost love. I've worked with a lot of other groups and artists, but I'm most proud of Ms. Beaudine's growth. My music instincts were correct; what I saw in her was a fact.  

We here at Big And Tall Records like a surprise from an artist! We've got so many talented artists that produce so much quality music! We're lucky!

The men that have been in my life
There was some good, there was some bad
But the one that I still think of
Was the best I ever had

He understood my bitchy ways
Never did hold it against me
Said that was just the way I was
And he truly, really loved me

That was such a long time ago
I think 'bout all the days done past
He captured my entire heart
But it was doomed to never last

We had a few years together
Time moved along way too damn fast
Our life was easy and loving
It makes me dwell on the past

I hold him still in my broken heart
All the way to this very day
But the memry's starting to fade
I don't want it to go away!

Was such a long, long time ago
My heart's stuck in the sweet past
The time he done captured my heart
Doin' my best to make it last

I held him, the day that he died
Tried to protect him from all harms
But I felt his life slip away
From my lovin'...carin'...arms
 

Gummer Beaudine - Ain't A Gonna Let It Pass!

 Gummer Beaudine's latest is a fooler. She starts out singing a heartfelt ballad in a voice that is surprisingly sweet. Just as we were getting into a style of singing we didn't know she had, she hollers out some word accompanied by the drums, and launches into the actual song in her recognizable style. But there seems to be a difference in style. She's still raucous, but even that's tempered somewhat and doesn't go on for an entire song. Part of it is she's accustomed herself better to recording in a studio instead of being recorded in a bar performing live. And there's a distinct variety in hr delivery from when we first heard her. We're not complaining either way! Her artistry is evolving, and she's now got more of an incentive to tone down and shape her songs more than she used to. People that still go to bars and here her assure us she's still the same ol' Gummer, so she has learned to turn the bar style on and off, which is a good thing. Nobody can evolve their talent by sticking to a very narrow lane of creativity! When we talk to her now she appears to be a little more poised, a little more confident. It's nice to know that the diamond in the rough is getting some polish, but only one side of it! The other side remains loud and rough, just like her bar fans like it! 

When ya lived as long as I have
Lots a water over the dam
Took me many a long year
To figger out who I am

But in these later years
See others just be themself
I try to give them respect
And want the same for myself

Been abused ever which way
Never did complain or say
Always took it, no ifs ands or buts
Always took it, no ifs ands or buts

BUT NO MORE! MAN'LL GIT A KICK IN THE NUTS!
WOMAN’LL GIT A SLAP ‘CROSS THE FACE!

Ain't gonna be a chump no more
Ain't gonna take it on the chin
If you cain't treat me with respect
Then we ain't even gonna begin

Wasted enough of my life
Kissin' somebody's ass
They say to forgive and forget
But I ain't a gonna let it pass!

Go head call me a mean ass bitch
I no longer give a shit!
Done with all this passive stuff
Ain't got nothin' left of it.

Wasted enough of my life
Kissin' somebody's ass
They say to forgive and forget
But I ain't a gonna let it pass!

Say that revenge is mighty sweet
But I ain't lookin' for that
Wanna be respected is all
If ya cain't, I'll leave ya flat!

Wasted enough of my life
Kissin' somebody's ass
They say to forgive and forget
But I ain't a gonna let it pass!

Say that revenge is oh so sweet
Ain't lookin' for none of that
Wanna be respected is all
If ya cain't, I'll shore leave ya flat!

Wasted enough of my life
Kissin' somebody's ass
They say to forgive and forget
But I ain't a gonna let it pass!

Gummer Beaudine - Just A Plain Fool

Gummer Beaudine's latest tells the often told story of love betrayed. Gummer told us that this song is about her and a relationship she just got out of. So it proves that even when you get older, love remains an iffy proposition!  We're amazed at her performing, and as popular as she's proved on her recordings it's the live performances that snap and pop! The audience gets involved, and she's got a hard core group of fans that travel with her from bar to bar. She plays a lot of gigs, and for a woman up there in years (she won't tell us how old she is!) she's got a lot of energy. He remains dedicated to her style, a country/western honky tonk, gritty performance that borders on the band being out of tune. There's a constant low volume roar in the background that is there in various degrees in her performances. But it's always there! 

We was once an item, that time is all gone
Stickin’ ever skanky whore, when I was so faithful
Dreamin’ try to come back, now I know the truth
You think I’m stupid, It’d just be too painful

Takes a special fool to forgive
But I know I ain’t that special
I’ll forget, live and let live
Just a plain fool, on the level

You talk a good story, it was a big lie
Evry whore you did, took ‘em on the town
Always had to work late, that’s what ya’ll told me
Nothin’ but a damn lie, said to bring me down

Takes a special fool to forgive
But I know I ain’t that special
I’ll forget, live and let live
Just a plain fool, on the level

Even had my sister, you no good bastard!
Now she’s on my shit list, right there next to you
Never knowed that she was just a dirty whore
Some of my friends prob’ly you done them to!

Takes a special fool to forgive
But I know I ain’t that special
I’ll forget, live and let live
Just a plain fool, on the level

Even had my sister, you no good bastard!
Now she’s on my shit list, right there next to you
Never knowed that she was just a dirty whore
Some of my friends prob’ly you done them to!

Takes a special fool to forgive
But I know I ain’t that special
I’ll forget, live and let live
Just a plain fool...on the level

I don't hope you die! I hope you live,
Keep whorin' catch crotch rot, drippy dick,
crab infestation, yeast infection, scabies, ringworm, hope yer balls itch so much you scratch 'em raw, hope yer hair falls out, yer feet go flat, yer dick goes limp...

 

Gummer Beaudine - Stankey Thang

 Stanky Thang is a cover of a song by Big Marv, and Gummer Beaudine has been trying to get Big Marv to let her do it, and he gave permission under the condition that she record other songs first and establish herself. He thought the song too much for a new recording artist. Truth be told, Big Marv has never been that fond of his own recording. It's the first time he sang on record, and his band had to persuade him and get him half lit on beer before he'd do it. He said they went into the recording studio late one night with just an idea and they improvised until they got something recorded. Of all the recordings he's done, he very seldom sings on a recording or in person. "I'm a damned piano player! Ain't no singer!" he usually says.

As for Gummer Beaudine, she's been playing the song with her band at gigs, and she's found the audience loved it! Roared with laughter, always got a big hand afterwards. "This is my kind a song!", she said. "Cussin', nasty subject, my crowd gets into it!" So when she came to the studio to record it, we made sure to ask if Big Marv was good with her recording it. He said he was. Big Marv was out of town, and we couldn't get him on the phone, so we took her at her word and approved.

Big Marv got back into town the other day, and when he came to the office and found out she recorded it and it was released, he got madder than an old wet hen! We talked him down, told him the recording was doing all right, and he vowed to never give permission for a cover unless he's at the recording session! Gummer seems to be nonchalant about the whole thing, and is enjoying playing the song at the bars the band and her frequent. 

Dang, you got a stanky thang! Don’t ya’ll ever wash it? 

Soap and water don’t cost much for ya’ll to scrub it! 

Dang, you ‘spect any body wanna get close to it? 

Don’t be so lazy, and break down and wash it! 

 

Stankey Thang, no smelly feet can match it! 

Stankey thang, no armpit can top it! 

Ya smell jest like commode ala mode

 Just as rotten as it can be 

 

The stank ya got driftin’ off you is worse than I ever smelt! 

Don’t be so damned lazy and scrape off the crust 

From that funky, stankey ol’ tallywacker! 

 

Stankey Thang, no stench can rise above it 

Stankey thang, take a lot get the funk off of it!

 The stank you got is hard to describe, 

Kinda like a mixture of old dirty socks, mixed with pickled egg farts and dirty jock strap! 

Man your stank ain’t good, like old dead horse cock 

Stirred in with rotten cow livers and 30 day ol’ dog shit! 

 

Stankey Thang, makes my gut retch 

Stankey thang, be a terrible stench! 

Stankey Thang, Stankey Thang, Stankey Thang, Stankey Thang 

 

 I remember when we were just kids, you even stunk then goddam! 

Could smell yer dead little cock all the way down to the dam! 

 

Stankey Thang, no words can really describe it 

Stankey thang, shit would even say that it stinks! 

You got a problem, a body malfunction, or did you shit something already dead? 

 

I try to give you the benefit of mercy, but all I can do is say 'Lord have mercy!' myself! 

Stankey Thang, you cannot ignore it Stankey thang, oh you gotta own it! Yes you do! 

Put yer dang legs together we'll all be grateful if ya do! 

I pity the Doc when you go in for a check up. 

 Raise your arms and the nurse will pass out! 

Doc goes to check on your privates, he'll get halfway there, close your legs. say 

NO FUCKIN' WAY! 

Stankey Thang, 55 gallon drum of soap wouldn't phase it Stankey thang, I'd say you stank like shit, but I ain't got nothin' against shit! Stanky thang.........stankey thang........OOOOO LAWD, STANKEY THANG!!!

 

Gummer Beaudine - The Slobber Blues

 Gummer Beaudine stays true to style with this cover of a Toothless Mabel song, The Slobber Blues. She comes from performing in rough and tough country bars, and her sound sure shows it. Toothless Mabel had no qualms about giving her permission, and was taken by the rowdy nature of this version! Gummer's still busy on the hillbilly saloon circuit, and her recordings have gotten a lot of interest especially from people who've heard her live. 

Gummer continues to by mentored by Big Marv, as she's expressed an interest in writing some songs herself. She likes the song that Big Marv wrote for her, Let's Go Honky Tonkin', and wants to do some original material at her gigs. This lady is the real thing! She stopped by the studio to sign a short term contract and stayed for a couple of hours shooting the breeze! 

When your teeth are gone, makes your life different. 

Some things you can do, some things you cain’t. 

Corn on the cob, big red apple ya don't eat 

Sometimes it's a problem, sometimes it ain't 

 

Tell the truth I ain’t as pretty as I used to be. 

Thought store bought teeth might help that a mite. 

They look as bright as a new piano key, 

And it sure does help me to bite. 

 

But Oh lord, not the slobber blues! 

Ya don’t bite, ya don’t chew, 

Them's against the rules 

Them’s ain’t the things to do! 

 

 He treats me like a queen, toothless or not. 

He calls me good lookin’ tells me I’m hot. 

Still got a decent figure, with tasty sweet bits, 

Take off my clothes he throws a fit 

 

Pillows under his head all relaxed 

He lays back lets me do my thing 

I can tell if he's enjoyin' his self 

If his right foot starts to swing

 

 I love to play the slobber blues 

Gotta play the slobbery blues 

Put my teeth in a jar, then play it hard and far! 

My baby loves the slobber blues!

 

Gummer Beaudine - Let's Go Honky Tonkin'

 We got the lowdown about Gummer Beaudine from our main man, Big Marv. They met so she could get permission from him to do a version of Marv's song Stanky Thang. He gave her the okay, but talked her into putting the project on hold, as he thought she'd do better with an original song. So Marv wrote the music for Let's Go Honky Tonkin' while she wrote most of the lyrics. 

Her first name is really Patty. She got the Gummer moniker from an incident in her earlier life. Seems she got hit square in the mouth with a shovel! Her boyfriend at the time was a big drinker, get lit up and wail on her, and one night he started digging a big hole in the back yard, and when she went out to see why he was doing it, he took the shovel and hit her on the head and across her face with it! She vaguely remember that he said he was digging her grave! He got as far as rolling her unconscious body into the hole and started throwing dirt on top of her when a neighbor came over to see what the ruckus was about. The neighbor happened to be a weight lifter, and subdued her boyfriend handily, and called the police. He was charged with attempted murder, convicted, and sits in jail. Seems he had a long list of assault cases on top of this one, so he's not getting out real soon, if ever. Patty spent a long time in the hospital, went through facial reconstruction surgery multiple times as well as losing all of her teeth. She had to go without any denture for a while until her jaw healed, so her friends at the bar gave her the name. She adopted it, and goes by it in her life without any problem.

Marv told us she was a pretty tough customer! He had to use all his powers of persuasion to get her to wait on using his song. He felt that after her first song, Pocket Rocket, it'd be good if she recorded something a little different. Ends up it turned out to be not that different, as it's her style to have a rough house sound.  She told him she started out playing in bars that would have chicken wire strung up between the audience and the band for safety! She said beer bottles, ashtrays, shoes, you name it would be thrown at the stage if the crowd didn't like the music! 

 Been a hard week at work 

Just ‘bout up an’ quit 

But dammit, I need the money 

Tonight I don’t give a shit!

 

 Let’s go honky tonkin’ dammit! 

Drank some bare, eat some fries

 Feel like havin’ some fun 

Or I’m just gonna up and die! 

 

Don’t be no asshole when we go 

I might do some dancin’ with ‘nother 

 Don’t mean I wanna fuck him 

So don’t git mad, don’t bother!

 

 Let’s go honky tonkin’ dammit! 

Drank some whisky, swat some flies 

Feel like havin’ some fun 

Or I’m just gonna up and die! 

 

 Wanna hear some country western 

But some real good beat to the song

 Don't wanna hear no rap or any that crap 

'Course throw in some honky tonk! 

 

Let’s go honky tonkin’ dammit! 

Drank some terquila, tell some lies 

Feel like havin’ some fun 

Or I’m just gonna up and die! 

 

 We git a little lit by the time they close 

We can head on out to my place 

Do a li'l bit horizontal mambo 

Asses scoot all over the place 

 

Let’s sleep late tomorry 

Hair of the dog that bit us, bit a gin 

Take a shower, fuck a bit 

Then go do it all over again!

 

 

Gummer Beaudine - Pocket Rocket

A while back, we here at Big And Tall Records got a phone call. It turned out to be a woman that wanted to know if shew could get permission from one of our artists to cover one of their songs. Her name about floored us; Gummer Beaudine! We told her we would talk to the artist and get back with them. When we asked what the song was and artist, the woman said Gimme A Pocket Rocket by Shanda Lee. This record didn't do very well, and we haven't heard from Shanda since the record was released. We called Shanda, luckily it was her day off. She's a nurse and works hellacious hours. She was amazed about the request, and after we talked a while (she initially was going to refuse), she agreed. 

We called Gummer(!) back and informed her. She said she was going to perform the song with a band at a 'gin mill' (as she put it). By her voice, she was judged her to be in her 30's, maybe early 40's. On the phone her voice was rather nice. So we sent a small crew to make a recording of her performing the song. She wasn't too hot on that idea, but when she found out it was part of the deal, she agreed. What we got in return was something we didn't expect!

She said she mostly played Country/Western, but sprinkled some blues and Honky Tonk. When our crew got back and played the file, we were amazed! Really rough and tumble music, and the woman with the nice speaking voice showed us what she could do with it singing. She's a short woman, the band towered over her. She strummed the guitar, our crew said sometimes she'd thump hell out of it. The band's good, lays down a steady beat that she weaves her vocals in and out of, sometimes breathlessly. The piano player beats on the keys as well, with clusters of notes. And if that's not enough, we were proved wrong on her age. Our crew are gentlemen, so no one asked her age, but she has to be in her sixties, and a rough sixties at that! 

We were bowled over, and won over! We offered her a recording contract, and she was somewhat leery at first. She's never been recorded before, and the crew said she was really nervous when they recorded her. She's not a songwriter, does covers of other people's songs mostly. So I sent her a link to our site so she could listen to the songs we've got. 

After a few days, Gummer called back and we could hear the excitement in her voice. She found a lot of songs she'd like to do, and readily agreed to the contract! She's making a list so we can get permission from the composer to cover it. So welcome a new recording artist for Big And Tall Records, Gummer Beaudine! Once we get to know her better, we're dying to know how she got the name Gummer!

When women get together, sometimes they say things ‘bout their old mans junk.

How big they are, which way they sway, 

some, OH LORD!, big as an elephant’s trunk! 

But I’m here to tell ya sisters, Hear what I say! 

Gimme a pocket rocket any day! 

 

Gimme a pocket rocket, 

I’ll take a pocket rocket! 

Don’t matter what ya’ll say, 

Gimme a rocket any day! 

 

 I'll tell ya'll somethin'. I've had a few men. 

Some nice and loving, some nasty and crude. 

Some of those had a big one, but keep 'em away! 

They're so nasty, so selfish and rude. 

 

Gimme a pocket rocket, 

I’ll take a pocket rocket! 

Don’t matter what ya’ll say, 

Gimme a rocket any day! 

 

Now mind ya, not all big dicks that way! 

 But the one I had pulled down his pants, 

waved it in front of me, and stood there showing it off! 

Like a baseball bat, hard as a rock, 

should have been on a leash with a choke chain! 

Ain’t no way I was takin’ that cock! 

 

Gimme a pocket rocket, 

I’ll take a pocket rocket! 

Don’t matter what ya’ll say, 

Gimme a rocket any day! 

 

Got a good man now, and he’s so sweet. 

Treats me so good, and gets me off first! 

 I love him! I love complete!! 

You hear what I say? HE GETS ME OFF FIRST!!! 

 

 After that I’ll take care of him, whatever he wants, 

 I’ll tell ya the truth, I love whatever I do, 

To please him over and over again, 

On top of that, his rocket won’t choke you! 

 

Gimme a pocket rocket, 

I’ll take a pocket rocket! 

Don’t matter what ya’ll say, 

Gimme a rocket any day! 

 

 I love him like no other, we’re close as close as can be. 

Two peas in a pod, match up so well, I’m happy it’s true. 

I’ve learned about fuckin’,a revelation for me, 

I’d rather scoot up close to a short one,

han skin my ass gettin’ away from a big one! OH YEAH! 

 

Gimme a pocket rocket, 

I’ll take a pocket rocket! 

Don’t matter what ya’ll say, 

Gimme a rocket any day!