Hambone Riley - My Willie Won't Go Down!

Hambone Riley's experiences trying to cope with his slowing sexual abilities due to age is told in his song My Willie Won't Go Down! It happens to many men, and not just with advanced age. There's all kinds of treatments for ED now, with the medication Viagra being a popular treatment. But it does have drawbacks, the main one being what Hambone narrates; priapism, an extended erection. First thoughts by a lot of men is that it sounds like a lot of fun! But the truth of the matter is that extended erections can be very painful, and lead to deforming of the penis. Viagra can cause this in some cases, unfortunately Hambone was one of them. First round of treatments can be cold packs and pseudoephedrine taken. If this doesn't work, hospital care is needed with a nerve block tried. Other drugs can also be tried, but if no results happen then aspiration with a needle of the blood trapped in the penis is done, the treatment Hambone evidently had to succumb to. (OUCH!) The last resort is surgery where a shunt may be put in. Four hours is the maximum time to let it go if it happens. After that the longer time that is waited, the more risk of permanent damage. It can even lead to gangrene  (yikes!) of the penis,  and in that case it's goodbye Little Willie (as Hambone calls his member).

Like many things that happen in life, while they happen it's not funny. After the event can be a different matter. Hambone told us on the phone his whole story, pretty much as he relates it in his song, and his tale was punctuated by many breaks as he laughed about it all. But he also emphasized how much it HURT! 

I made a trip to the doctor
For a reason I won't disguise
Got a whole lotta trouble
Gettin' Li'l Willie to rise

Doc went all over my health chart
Looking for all of my ills
He said I'm a good candidate
For the little blue Viagra pills

Oh, gimme the prescription, Doc!

I'll go fill it right away!
Try this wonder medicine out
At the end of today!

Me and my baby went to bed
I tol' her all about the pill
She smiled, told me to go take it
And see if it fills the bill!

Took it a while to kick in
We was lovin' away, kissin'
Then she reached down grabbed a handfull
Of what she tol' me she been missin'!

Hot damn! Like a young man again!
It ain't been that pumped up in years!
We kept on humpin' and bumpin'
Tryin' to make it a new career!

We finally collapsed on the bed
We was both totally wore out!
Didn't get no funny feelin'
My Willie was still big and stout!

Goddam! My Willie won't go down!
What in the hell's goin' on?
Cain't fuck no mo, my back is so
I'm tired, breathless and drawn!

I followed what Doc done tol' me
If this kind a thing should happen
Took some other pills, iced it down
Started to hurt, got misshapen

After 4 hours, really in pain
Willie 's head like a big mushroom
Wife tol' me get my clothes on
Goin' to the 'Mergency room.

My pants crotch stuck out like a tent
I was so goddamed embarrassed
Nurse came in to assess my case
Tol' me to strip and get bare assed

Don't wanna know what they did!
Trust me, a hard dick ain't worth it!
Li'l Willie's still achin' and so
'Scription wish I wouldn't have filled it!

No! Not that! Not that big needle!
What in hell are ya doin' with it?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Goddam! My Willie won't go down!
What in the hell's goin' on?
Cain't fuck no mo, my back is so
I'm tired, breathless and drawn! 

Hambone Riley - The Mud Bug Blues

 

We confess to being perplexed about the title of Hambone Riley's latest, The Mud Bug Blues, but the mystery of the title was dispelled after hearing the song. So hats off to Hambone for piquing our interest; a sign that a song title is a good one! 

Some of the past recordings of Hambone might have given the impression about his sincerity as a musician, but this is a good example of how he's not just about humorous and risque songs, but an accomplished and serious musician. His guitar playing is top notch, here performed on a resonator guitar, and his blues singing is passionate. an all around great bluesman that we're happy to have as one of our artists here at Big And Tall Records!

We didn't know crayfish (or crawdads as we called them when we were kids) are also called mud bugs. We used to catch them near the river bank and use them for fish bait, and they can be a challenge to grab by hand if you don't remember that they're quick and don't move head first. They can scoot pretty quick backwards and hide in the mud (hence the name) or under rocks. And they are really good to eat, and even when you've got some good sized ones it takes a lot to fill you up!  So in the cajun restaurant we used to frequent they're served up by the pail full in an annual Crawdad Festival. They're kind of like mini lobster. Takes a bit to get the hang of eating them; they're boiled up whole, break the tail and body in two. The connoisseurs suck the juices out of the head section and peel the tails while the more faint of heart just eat the tails and sometime the claws. 

We can imagine Hambone's narrator of the story (maybe himself in his younger days) sitting in front of a plate of mud bugs waiting for his lover, but she never shows. And adding insult to injury, he goes to pay for his meal and finds unbeknownst to him that she took all his money as well. Now that's the blues!

Oh, I got the Mudbug blues
Lawd help me, the mudbug blues
My woman's gone, she don't belong
I'm sad from my head to my shoes
 
When I was in New Orleans
I met me a woman there
Me and her hooked up real fast
And it led to my despair
 
Oh, I got the Mudbug blues
Lawd help me, the mudbug blues
My woman's gone, she don't belong
Believin' it my heart just refuse
 
We enjoyed each other for days
Together we seen the sights
Never saw the signs she give me
Amongst all them dazzlin' lights
 
We ate lots of Cajun food
That were as hot as we were
We had a date to have some mo
But she ain't any where

Oh, I got the Mudbug blues
Sittin' here with the mudbug blues
I been abused, and I been used
Cain't even buy me no booze!
 
Sittin' in this restaurant
Done checked my wallet to pay
Guess I gotta stay right here
But I wanna just run away!
 
She stole my money for sure
Done fucked me ever which way
 Stole my heart too, and that's a debt
She ain't never gonna pay!
 
Oh, I got the Mudbug blues
Never get over it again
Won’t forget what she done to me
It's the most worst I ever been!

Hambone Riley - Gotta Believe Me, Darlin'

 Hambone Riley continues to show us his range in singin' the blues. With this, his fourth recording, he goes out on his own as a songwriter. His first three recordings were songs written by his pal and fellow gig partner Forgotten Bob. Bob seemed to know instinctively what would help Hambone, a introverted musician, get out of his hell a little. Before he met Bob, Hambone played mainly in other group's gigs in a few numbers, and always had a wild look on his face, probably an honest reaction to his performance stress.  Hambone's demeanor, according to those who've seen him in performance, seems to have calmed somewhat although he's still got an electric presence. 

What seemed to have helped Hambone's stress of performing is the presence of not just Bob, but a saxophone player that he met through Bob. The sax player's a mystery, like much associated with Forgotten Bob, and the only name he have for him is Slobberin' Blowhard, hardly a complimentary moniker, but that follows the pattern for the musicians associated with Bob. What also follows the pattern is his ability on his instrument. The guy is a real talent, and on this latest Hambone song Gotta Believe Me Darlin', he plays a breathy, earthy sax. Hambone's got a real liking for Slobberin', and the two make a good combo. 

Hambone shows a real talent for songwriting with this song, and his voice is more mellow to fit with the words and performance. What will be next for this surprising bluesman? Wecan't wait to see (and hear!)

Know ya overheard me talkin'
And it made you feel sad and blue
But ya gotta believe me darlin'
It twern't anything 'bout you

Remember my sweet honey
Never wanna see ya so blue
Ever got a problem at all
I'll hold you're hand and talk to you

I was givin' advice to my bro
Who for sure got bended out double
His woman went and stepped out on him
He's hurtin’, really in trouble

Remember my sweet darlin'
Never wanna see ya so blue
Ever got a problem at all
I'll hold you're hand and talk to you

Ya only heard part the phone call
Can see why ya took it all wrong
Advice I give weren't very pretty
That's why I'm a singin' this song

Remember my sweet baby
Never wanna see ya so blue
Ever got a problem at all
I'll hold you're hand and talk to you

Oh...you know that I will
Because for sure...I love you still!
Oh yeah! Never stop! 

Hambone Riley - Ain't Nothin' Gonna Go On! Cover

With Forgotten Bob's song Ain't Nothin' Gonna Go On, Hambone Riley's cover version is perhaps the largest change in style in what Hambone usually plays. Forgotten Bob relates how he got Hambone to expand his style to include R&B:

I sent Hambone the audio file of my song along with the chord chart and lyrics and asked him to create his cover for it. I thought I'd be interesting to compare the versions, especially in light of hearing Amos Carter's cool version. By the way, Amos' Mama is one hell of a piano thumper! Hambone got back to me after a few  days and told me the song really didn't fit his style. So I decided to tweak his nose a little. I told him if he meant in the same ol' tired style as his past songs, he's right. But if he wanted to branch out a little from his normal, the possibilities were there. Well, the tweak worked! Hambone's pretty laid back, but that got his hackles raised and he started cussin' me out! Hah!

So I let him ramble, then told him about an idea I had. Make a bigger production out of it, get a brass band to back you up, and just sing. Don't play the guitar along with it. He kind of uses the guitar to hide behind because of some sort of crazy performance anxiety he's got. The bug eyes in all the pictures of him performing shows the nervousness he has. Well, I suggested maybe if he concentrated on the singing and left the instrumental to some solid studio men he could enjoy himself more. He told me he wants to make music his way and has to lead the others. I told him I know some solid old pros in the business that would do whatever he wanted, can be as anal as he wants! So he agreed.

I set up the recording studio and studio men, and then had to practically drag his ass there! Took him a while to get loosened up, but I was delighted when after the umpteenth take he started getting into it and the musicians followed his lead! Ended up he was delighted with it as much as I was,. and was as relaxed and happy as I've ever seen him in performance! He really made the song his own, and I like his version better than my original!

Hambone removed about half of the verses, and molded the song into something very different than his usual, all with the prodding, encouragement, and advice of his mentor Forgotten Bob! 

Got support socks on, ain’t no lie
Just ‘nough aspirin to get me by
Ask to boogie, ain’t gonna fly
Do I have to tell ya the reason why

Look out pretty Mama
Ain't nothin’ gonna go on
Said lookout cute Mama
Ain't nothin’ gonna go on
Gotta pain in my back and it’s
Kept me all awake until dawn

Ain't no wonder why I got the ills
I forgot to take all my pills
Got the urge but it's just all talk
Got nothin' left to walk the walk

Look out pretty Mama
Ain't nothin’ gonna go on
Said lookout cute Mama
Ain't nothin’ gonna go on
Gotta bad case of the trots
I just feel so put upon

I know it's only ten o'clock
But I'm all wore out, really shot
Could do it all night, never quit
Now it takes all night just to do it!

Look out pretty Mama
Ain't nothin’ gonna go on
Said lookout cute Mama
Ain't nothin’ gonna go on
Ya know that I love ya babe
But ain't nothin' gonna go on

Look out pretty Mama
Wish somethin' was gonna go on
Said lookout cute Mama
Wish somethin' was gonna go on
Ya know that I love ya babe
But there ain't nothin' gonna go on

Hambone Riley - Get Yer Finger Out My Butt!

 At Big And Tall Records, we have what can be termed an eclectic taste in music. That word sounds so pretentious, and can be mistaken to mean no taste at all! Perhaps a better way to describe it is that we appreciate many different genres of music. We have associates that prefer blues, some country, others classical, actually practically all genres are represented by someone or other liking it. We take their recommendations seriously, and along with the recordings they send we use them to determine who might make a good fit for the company.

Looking at our catalog, the main criterion may be said to be artistry. Yeah, a pretty fuzzy and personal idea, so that's why whenever we get a recommendation and a recording of a potential artist for our label, we gather at our great round table, usually at least a dozen associates and executives to determine if we should take the artist on. Sometimes the discussions can get rather loud, as pros and cons make their opinions known. Such was the case for Leroy 'Hambone' Riley.  But the pros won out, despite the argument that we've got enough artists that aren't in the mainstream, which Hambone surely isn't in the mainstream!

The associate that heard him perform live said that he came out on stage kind of timidly, but as soon as the music started he became transformed.  His eyes bugged out as his mouth let out a coarse voice that sung off the wall lyrics about God knows what. That seems to be right up our alley! 

Hambone isn't well known outside of the cheap dive bars he plays in, but others in the music community know of him. In fact, Forgotten Bob knows him quite well, and wrote this song for him, 'Get Yer Finger Out My Butt!' We talked to Forgotten Bob over the phone when we heard Hambone to see what he thought of him. Gotta be different for Forgotten Bob to like you, let alone write a song for you! He did tell us how he got the name 'Hambone'. Seems he used to be a cook in the Army a long time ago, and he was assigned to the ham hocks and beans detail, as everyone raved about how he made it. He liked to put a raw ham bone in the pot to add flavor, so he started trimming off most of the meat left on a ham bone in the cooler. His NCO came in, chastised him for wasting food as there was already ham hocks in the pot. Hambone tried to explain to him that all he wanted was the bone, but the Sergent insisted he put it back in the cooler. Leroy was known to have a temper, and in a fit of pique he hit the Sergent over the head with it from behind! Now this was a raw ham bone, and a raw ham bone is really strong, almost impossible to break, and the Sergent went down in a heap in the cooler. There was an investigation and when the Sergent testified, he said he didn't know what happened. His memory was blank. Hambone got off easy, and the Sergent later told him that he lied to the investigators. He knew he got hit with a raw ham bone, but Hambone was his best cook and he didn't want to lose him. Hambone and the Sarge came to be friends, and that's why they call him Hambone!  So remember, if you want to smack somebody with a ham bone, make sure it's a raw one...

Me and my ol' lady been together many years
Our love for each other has continued to grow
We get along well, never squabble or fight
But part of our relationship isn't good though...

Our sex life sure is a big bore
We decided to try some things
That could give our sex some wings
But I didn't know what was in store...

Woman, get yer finger out my butt!
What in hell is wrong with you
You're into it, ain't a good fit
What in hell am I gonna do?

Woman, get yer finger out my butt!
When I did the same to you
You had a fit, told me to quit
You keep it up with me, it's true!

We tried all kinds of different stuff, toys and such
Fancy frilly underwear, dildos Viagra too
Role playing, slippery stuff, books and videos as well
We found some techniques we both like, but all you wanna do...

Jab yer finger in my ass
What in hell's it do for you?
You've got a hidden kink
Who knew what you'd get into?

Woman, get yer finger out my butt!
I don't think you're very well!
Finger's in it, covered with shit
My bung hole is starting to swell!

Woman, get yer finger out my butt!
What is your obsession?
You take delight, don't treat me right
Every single sexual session!