Again with a recording of Zbig Szafranski! The Nude Polka Kings are in the process of wrapping up their winter/spring tour, and they sent this recording from a live performance. Seems Zbig is getting quite a cult following! But we'll let the leader of The Kings tell you all about it:
We regret the day we invited Zbig to accompany us on the last leg of our tour. He got him on the stage one time to sing, and after that we couldn't keep him off of it! The first time hesang, there was scattered applause as most of the audience was shocked at his language and his demeanor. He was a combination of drunk and hungover from the previous night, as he sits in the front row during our songs and drinks beer, hoots and howls obscenities in Polish at the end. We've had really appreciative crowds on this leg, so their applause tends to drown him out. But when he's on stage, everybody hears it! Here's a picture we took of him that first performance. You can see that he's dirty, hair uncombed, clothes look like he's slept in them (which he had), but at least the crowd beyond the front row couldn't smell him! Nasty! We tried to lay the law down and tell him no more singing if he doesn't clean himself up. But he ignored us. But we
Dirty Zbig unleashed our secret weapon on him; Mrs. Gillside, one of our crew that is in charge of making arrangements for lodgings and any other accommodations we need. She's got a way with people, she gets them to do what they need to do. Without her,our tour would be chaos! She worked her magic on Zbig, and here's a picture of him after she got through. Clean clothes, hair combed, looking neat, at least for him. He calls her Pani Gillside, the Polish honorific for Mrs. He defers to her in many matters. She's still working on his nasty noises and language though.
Cleaned Up Zbig With each performance the crowd has gotten more and more into his singing, if that's what you want to call it. With the recent recording we sent you, the crowd reacts immediately when he comes on stage! And with each concert it's grown! Must be some sort of word of mouth. He farts, he swears, he makes noises like he's gonna puke, and the audience goes nuts! We can't figure out what's going on, but we think he's actually increased attendance to our concerts! Some older women especially act like teenie boppers at a Beatles concert of the 1960's, do everything but throw their Depends on the stage!
Luckily just a few more dates, and we can have a rest. This tour has been exhausting without Zbig, but with him... There's a problem brewing though. We start our summer schedule in the middle of June, and he already said he want to be part of it! A lot of these dates will be nude concerts, and the thought of Zbig on the stage without any clothes on horrifies all of us! We've got to figure out away to discourage him! Any ideas you guys have, let us know!
Well guys, nothing comes to mind to keep him from joining you. Might be good for your sales! It's a mystery to us why crowds like the guy so much. Maybe the novelty will wear off? He is 84 years old, so he can't keep going on tour, drinking beer, eating kielbasa, and doinking all the old ladies that want him. It's a mystery how he's still going so strong now after the life he's lead.
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