Melvin Peckerwood and The Mama's Boys - Open Up A Can Of Whup Ass

Another tale from Melvin Peckerwood and The Mama's Boys. You keep annoying this guys girl and he's gonna Open Up A Can Of Whup Ass! This group fits in with most of the others here at Big And Tall Records in that they usually tell a story, this group's stories many times centers around the early 60's in story line and music. 

As related in our last post about this group, their keyboardist is out of commission for a while, but Big Marv has offered to fill in. Now their lead saxophonist has taken a leave of absence because of family issues. But Big Marv to the rescue again! He found a young lady playing a mean  sax in a group a while back, and they offered her a a spot until their regular gets back. Melinda Volare is here name, and her prowess on the sax is put to good effect on this recording! She not only punctuated things nicely in the body of the song, but Big Marv keeps the ending going long enough to give her another opportunity for a few more licks!

Was laying on my couch, catching a nap 

Dreaming sweet of so many things. 

About hugging and smooching my sweetie, 

And then my damn cell phone rings! 

 

 It startled me much, the phone’s on my lap 

I grab it and answer, “Yessiree.” 

It’s the voice of my sweetie crying 

“It’s this guy that keeps bothering me!” 

 

 She’s sniffling and crying so bad,

I have trouble making her out 

Then she calms down, tells me the tale 

Then I’m told what it’s all about! 

 

I told her she can relax, 

I’ll take care of it. 

He won’t bother you no more, 

I can assure it…. 

 

 Go to the cupboard, open the door, 

Way up on top is what I’m looking for. 

Just the thing to help out my lass,

 A big old can of WHUP ASS! 

 

The can of whup ass is dusty, 

Haven't had to use it for a while 

It's kind of old, bottom's all rusty, 

Still got some in it,makes me smile! 

 

Know the guy, a pain in the ass, 

He goes by the name of Ralph.

 If he doesn't leave her alone, 

I'm gonna break him in half! 

 

 The can of whup ass is trusty, 

Never has failed me before 

Although the bottom's crusty, 

Still got surprises in store!

 

 Look up creepy Ralph's number, 

But I can't seem to get him. 

All I get is a message, 

Chance of him answering is slim. 

So I leave him a message - 

 

You know who this is, you jerk! 

If you don't leave her alone real fast! 

You'll find out how hard I can work, 

TO OPEN UP MY CAN OF WHUP ASS!

 I'll mess you up, break you in half 

If you don't quit being a pest! 

She's not interested in you, Ralph! 

Try your luck with the rest! 

 

Evidently that's all it took to stop the creep

 Now my girl is all smiles and is glad. 

Nobody messes with my lady, 

Unless they wanna end up real sad! 

 

 Put my can of WHUP ASS away, 

Worked real good, Ralph believed it 

Got it all sealed up and ready, 

Still got some left if I need it. 

 WHUP ASS! OPEN UP A CAN OF WHUP ASS! 

CALL ME! MY NUMBER'S 1- 5-5-5- WHUP ASS!

Big Marv and The Hodads - Swamp Ass Joe

 This may be the last recording for Big Marv and The Hodads for a while. Big Marv isn't going down to New Orleans with the band for Mardi Gras, and he has no idea when they'll get back. Big Marv says:

I been to Mardi Gras lots of times. Too damn old for that nonsense anymore. Got no interest in throwin' strings of beads to women showin' their titties, all the boozin' dope, carousing in general. Oh, the boys will have their share of music to play an' all, but them guys won't draw a sober breath the whole time. Hell, Mardi  Gras doesn't start until March 4th this year, but they got lots of gigs before then, I guess. Least that's what they told me. They tried to get me to go along, to keep unity with the group. But we've never been a tight knit group. The Hodads just might go on without me, even after they get back, but it's no skin off my nose. There's lots of opportunities for my wife and I to make music!

 By the way, Big Marv's wife is 'Big' Sheila Jonsmite, known for her gourmet Cajun food, plus she's a good singer and musician in her own right that has recorded for us as well. But back to the recording.

The bayous, swamps ans sloughs of Louisiana have given us a lot of folktales from the people that live there. A local legend that no doubt has basis in fact is what Big Marv has named as Swamp Ass Joe. This recording is unique for Big And Tall Records as it is basically a blues/boogie woogie piece that is prefaced by a short introduction by a full orchestra and operatic tenor! 

Seems Big Marv was sitting in on a rehearsal of The Noir Players and he got the idea while listening to them. He had a talk with the leaders within the group, and they agreed to do the intro if he would allow them to use the idea for their own recording! 

So the recording is not mislabeled, it's Big Marv and The Hodads with one of the brass players singing the lead and Big Marv ripping up the piano part!  

 Introduction

 What's that coming up the dirt road, 

It's form can just be made out, 

A ghastly silhouette of terror! 

Long legs and body stout! 

LOOK! It's covered in long hair! 

All the folks closely watch 

It comes nearer........,and nearer..... 

OH MY GOD IT LOOKS LIKE SASQUATCH! 

 

 Swamp Ass Joe

WHOA! HOLD ON! HOLD ON BOYS! I SAID HOLD ON! 

That ain't no Sasquatch! 

That's just Swamp Ass Joe! 

 

He's big as a squatch, 'bout as hairy too, 

But he ain't gonna do nothin' to you. 

He's friendly as a puppy dog, 

'Bout as bright as a cedar log. 

If you're a gator it's a differnt story, 

Causes all the 'gators a whole lot of worry 

He hunts them down and they see defeat, 

Cuz he strips 'em down and sells their meat! 

 

 Swamp Ass Joe, lives in the swamp, 

Next door to the cottonmouth snakes 

Don't eat nothin' but catfish, crawdads and gator, 

He knows every square inch of the swamps and lakes 

 

 Lives in a bug infested cabin in the boonies, 

Got lights and TV, likes to watch cartoonies 

In gator season he becomes a predator, 

Of anything looks like an alligator 

He snares, 'em, ropes 'em, knocks 'em in the head, 

When he drags them in the boat wants be sure theys dead 

 

Swamp Ass Joe came to town was all mad and sad, 

We tried to cheer him up, tell him a joke that’s funny 

"Ain't no use," he said hangin' his head. "I'm feelin' bad!

My TV done quit showin' that rascal Bugs Bunny!” 

 

He comes to town, folks give him room, 

In his pocket I saw a growin' mushroom, 

That's how dirty and nasty he is, what a stink! 

He don't even bother to wash in the sink! 

So people just want to avoid the smell, 

His long hair and beard are just nasty as hell, 

He thinks folks don't like him, but he don't care, 

Wears overalls with no underwear! 

 

Swamp Ass Joe, tol' me he used to wipe his ass, 

With a page from the Catalogue of Sears fame, 

But they don't print 'em, long gone and passed, 

So he don't wipe at all, that's how he got his name!

 

So you ain't gotta be 'fraid of ol' Joe, 

He's like a little boy.He likes sit and whittle out little toys 

The children don't seem to mind his smell, 

And flock to him to listen to stories he tells. 

He's a good ol' boy, just a little dense, 

And his personal hygiene is a mess. 

But it's gator season and he's the reason 

Why we always have a gator meat fest! 

Swamp Ass Joe! 

Swamp Ass Joe!

 

 

 

Sonny Hotchkins - The Runny Nose Blues

 First time we heard this recording, we thought Sonny Hotchkins did a good job of imitating someone with a cold. Turns out he wasn't faking, he really did have a bad cold when he recorded it! He was coerced into making the recording session by his recently hired manager. Said manager has since been fired, and Sonny has gone back to what he's always done, been a free lancer that has  done all of his own bookings and agreements.  Despite feeling under the weather, Sonny does his usual fine job. And the song contains the best line we at Big And Tall Records have heard in a while!: Feel like I been shot at and missed, shit at and hit!

I got a pain in my head, a scratchy throat, 

I said a pain in my head, an a scratchy throat 

I should a never come here, stayed home in bed 

 

 Got da runny nose blues, 

I be out a tissues, 

The snot is running down by lip and chin. 

The runny nose blues, 

Gotta remember to use 

My nose spray or I won't win! 

 

 It started a few days ago 

Yes, a few days ago 

Pardon me my nose needs blowed 

 

Why'd I have to come here, so miserable, 

My manager told me I had a song to record, 

They don't seem to know, that I ain't able, 

I can't sing very much, oh lord! 

 

I feel real hot, then I get a chill 

Dammit, feel real hot , then I get a shiverin' chill. 

And by nose continues to fill! 

 

 Feel like I been shot at and missed, 

Shit at and hit, 

Coughin' and moanin' all day long 

Nose won't quit flowin',

 feel worse bit by bit, 

 So I’m gonna finish up this here song. 

 

 My manager can kiss by ass! 

And I hope I done give them all my cold!

 

 

The Nude Polka Kings - The Short Skirt Polka

The Nude Polka Kings are an interesting story. The first recording they did for Big And Tall Records was The Nudie Polka, a novelty song about their preferred method of performing and dancing the Polka, was a novelty song. The group was more known for their traditional repertoire of Polkas, but with that first recording their focus has changed at least in recordings and they continue to offer up humorous songs. 

The Short Skirt Polka is another humorous song with a few overtly risque parts, but the song's concept is rated PG, for it all has to do with men being able to see more of woman's anatomy due to wearing a short skirt! We've had no complaints about it being sexist...yet. The Polka crowd seems to be able to deal with it all in good humor. The song begins with a short bit of yodeling by one of the members!

If you’re not like us, more like one of those, 

That doesn’t like to dance the Polka without any clothes,

 If you’re a man something that would interest you a lot, 

You would really like it, even think it’s pretty hot! 

 

The short skirt polka, girl with a nice face, 

Would look even better, if you saw her panty lace! 

You could have a lot of fun and not look indiscrete, 

If you made it seem like you were looking at her feet. 

 

Polka dresses usually are pretty but long, 

A girl would have to swing a lot for you to get a view. 

No matter how energetic would be the song, 

You wouldn’t get much chance for a panty review 

 

The short skirt polka, girl with a nice face, 

Would look even better, if you saw her panty lace! 

You could have a lot of fun and not look indiscrete,

 If you made it seem like you were looking at her feet. 

 

Would the ladies go for it, I bet some surely should, 

To tease their dancing partners, give them a little wood. 

Round and round and round they go with their skirt above their waist,

 Men would keep them twirling, and think about a taste 

 

The short skirt polka, girl with a nice face, 

Would look even better, if you saw her panty lace! 

You could have a lot of fun and not look indiscrete, 

If you made it seem like you were looking at her feet. 

 

Where would they get these dresses Skimpy and so short?

 They would have to be home made As a last resort. 

It wouldn't cost as much, as a long one, 

Bet men would foot the bill and have some fun! 

 

The short skirt polka, make sure she's of age! 

Sure wouldn't like to see you, locked up in a cage!

 And any normal man, would rather be pursuing, 

A woman of age that knew what she was doing!

 

Melvin Peckerwood and The Mama's Boys - Parkin' In My Old Man's Ford

 Another look back at how life was in the late 1950's, early 1960's by Melvin Peckerwood and The Mama's Boys. We don't know who the group uses as a consultant, because none of the members are old enough to go back that far, but there's a few here at Big And Tall Records that do, and their recordings take us back to those times. One person in particular (who shall go nameless!) here had an experience similar to this way back then, only it wasn't in a Ford!

Credit must be given to Big Marv, our resident studio pianist for his performance on this recording. The group had scheduled a recording session, but their keyboard player came down ill and couldn't attend. The group had all the lead sheets done, and the song has an essential piano part. Big
Marv just happened to be in the studio that day, found out about their dilemma, and offered to sit in with them. After some discussion and a couple run throughs, the recording started. After only a few takes, the song was 'in the can'! It's a testament to Big Marv's musicianship, and also his humility as he insisted on taking no credit for his efforts on the recording, as he was happy to help them out. 

We've just found out that Melvin's keyboard player will be out of commission for a while with a serious illness, so Big Marv has offered his services on any recordings in the meantime. We've also learned that Big Marv's group, The Hodads, will be taking to New Orleans (or as Big Marv calls it, 'A drinkin' and whorin' extended party' for Mardi Gras. Big Marv isn't going, so he'll be free for any studio work with Melvin or anyone else that needs it. 

Remember way back in the day, 

When you and your girl went out. 

Eatin’ a burger and fries, 

 Afterwards, it’s all about 

Takin’ a ride in the car

 Further and further you go, 

Then you park under the moon 

That casts a romantic glow 

 

Makin’ out in the back seat 

Feels mighty fine, oh lord! 

A little farther, it’ll be complete 

In the back of my old man’s Ford. 

 

Talkin’ and kissin’ and such 

You cradle the back of her head 

She kisses you real hard, 

She’s the one in control instead! 

She’s rubbin’ your chest with her hands 

You’ve never had a girl do all this 

She starts to unbutton your shirt, 

Man, with this gal you can’t miss! 

 

Makin’ out in the back seat 

Feels mighty fine, oh lord! 

A little farther, it’ll be complete 

In the back of my old man’s Ford. 

 

She jumps into the back seat 

As quick as you please, 

You look all around at first 

You’re feeling real weak in the knees. 

You take off your shoes, jump in the back, 

She’s unbuttoning her blouse 

Then rips at your shirt 

Acting like she’s really aroused 

 

Makin’ out in the back seat 

Feels mighty fine, oh lord! 

A little farther, it’ll be complete 

In the back of my old man’s Ford. 

 

 The kisses come hot and heavy,

 Groping each other as well, 

More clothes come off, 

She whispers in your ear to tell 

‘I want you’ she says softly 

You have nothing to say. 

She nibbles your ear as she whispers, 

 ‘I want you in the worst way!’ 

 

Makin’ out, man what a case! 

Havin’ a ton of fun! 

Goin’ way past first base! 

I’m about to hit a home run! 

 

As we’re goin’ farther, 

I hear outside a car stop. 

I hear a knock on the back door, 

Oh hell, it’s a couple of cops! 

We quit all our fun, 

she puts on her dress, 

I pull up my pants too. 

I roll down the window, cop looks in, 

Gives us a real talking to. 

 

We go on our way, I don’t look at her face,

 I’m so embarrassed, good lord! 

She asks, ‘Do you know a more deserted place?’

 As we ride in my old man’s Ford!

 

 

Tugboat Jackson - Gone Fishin'

 Blues man and hardware store operator Tugboat Jackson offers up another song, this time about his fishing hobby. Leave it to Tugg to put a little bit of philosophy mixed in with his fishin'!

Got ev'ry thing done I need do 

Be all caught up when I'm through 

Time to get my gear, 

get out a here, 

Time to head down to the slough. 

 

Bait up the hook, cast it on out 

Line rolls off the reel. 

Prop the rod with a stick, 

And see if I get a feel!

 

 Got a soft place to plop my behind, 

Look for a smooth place to find 

And pack down some willow

 To use for a pillow, 

And chew on a pack of pork rinds! 

 

This place is full of 'cat, 

And they can play with the bait 

There's a small bell on the tip of my rod 

To make sure that I'm not too late 

 

I lay back look at the sky,

 Amazed at the who and why, 

I can't even start

 to explain all the art 

So I refuse to even try. 

 

 I feel myself sliding away,

 Between a state of asleep and awake 

A meditative state, 

As I lay on the side of the lake. 

 

 The sunshine’s warm on my face, 

I tell ya, I'm feelin' mighty fine.

 I can lay here all day, 

With nothin' to say, 

Don't really care if a fish takes my line. 

 

The world can be a difficult place, 

Full of tension and stress. 

Try to relax, for your peace of mind, 

Try to decompress. 

 

What the world needs is a damn nap!

 

 

Sammy And Chief Of Police Confrontation - Travis V. McGonigle

Travis V. McGonigle

 Travis V. McGonigle's saga of The Barber Of Paducah continues! This installment sees theintroduction of another character, the Chief Of Police of Paducah, Captain Morgan. McGonigle keeps plugging away at the revision of the opera that he wrote in 1950. It's never been produced or performed, save for a few isolated excerpts arranged for piano and singer. 

Luigi Trasudante, the tenor who has lead the revision process, is away on other projects right now, but he's left the conductor and musicologist Kennard  Power Milligan in charge. Mr. Milligan has been the conductor of record on all of the recordings thus far, and his expertise is proving invaluable to Mr. McGonigle, although the composer does bellyache at the conductor on occasion, but the conductor takes it all in stride. He believes in the work as much as Mr. Trasudante does. Their excitement about the opera has made us here at Big And Tall Records enthusiastic about the work as well. We recently got a letter from Mr. McGonigle, neatly typed, obviously by the secretary we provided to him, but the language of the letter shows that she typed it as he said it! Here it is:

Dear big shots at Big And Tall Records, 

Howdy to all you big wheels! Sure glad you like what we done so far on my opera. It has sure taken me back 70 years when I was writing it out on hand ruled music paper because I couldn't afford the real stuff! You've been more than kind, more than generous, and I thank you kindly.

But goddammit! Could you get a more obnoxious asshole to help me out than the so-called conductor you sent? I know, you guys are footing  the bill, but shit! You think you got the right to send me your flunky conductor to do what you tell him to? I'll grant you, he knows a hell of a lot more about music theory, repertoire, and all  that shit! But he don't know nothing about the style of my music! Jesus Christ on a goddam cracker, going to rehearsals with this guy is torturing my old ears! I tell him to slow it down a tad, he wants to argue. I tell him to speed it up a mite, he wants to argue! Same way with louder, softer, blah, blah,blah, goddam blah! He needs to get over his high and mighty self, and do what the fuck he's told! He ain't the son of a bitch what composed the thing! Let him compose  his own goddam opera, and he can have all the say so he wants! I ain't a member of his orchestra he can fancy pants around and bully what to do!

Sincerely,

The old goddam grouch!

 We've since reached out to the composer, and he told us he was 'just blowin' off steam'. So everything is well...for now!On to the latest installment:

To set the scene: After Sammy roused up the men in town that afternoon, they've all met as his hardware store that evening. The men are armed with all kinds of weapons to intimidate the two brothers at Luigi's barber shop in hopes to scare them out of town. 

SAMMY SPEAKING TO THE MOB OF MEN THAT HAVE GATHERED AT HIS STORE: 

You ready to get rid of them damned Italians? 

Your hand and eye steady? 

It might get pretty rough, 

Tell me, ARE YOU READY? 

 

We're gonna go outside, and up the street. 

Gather people to join that we happen to meet! 

This is something we gotta do! 

To make sure all their shit is through! 

 

 Don't be worried 'bout the law! 

They ain't gonna do nothin'! 

We'll be waitin' 'til hell freezes over, 

Before they'll do somethin'! 

 

When I open up the door, 

I'll lead the way! 

It's not too far up the road, 

Tell me. what do ya say?

 

We're gonna go outside, and up the street. 

Gather people to join that we happen to meet! 

This is something we gotta do! 

To make sure all their shit is through! 

 

But just as Sammy opens the door, the Chief of Police, Captain Morgan, is on the other side and breaks the crowd up, as well as giving some good advice to Sammy. Captain Morgan shows that he's known about Luigi's goings on for a while, and that he knows the secret behind Sammy's rage. 

CAPTAIN MORGAN BREAKING UP THE CROWD

 

Hey Sammy! I hear tell ya'll thinkin' 'bout causin' a disturbance. At the barber shop of the two Italians. Never mind who told me. Let me tell ya'll somethin'. Ain't gonna let ya do it, no how, no way! Set yourself down ,and let me tell ya what we're doin' about it! We've got a passel of complaints against 'em from lots of folks, mostly against Luigi. So here's what I done. 

 

Called over to the Sheriff's office of McCracken County*, 

Way on the other side of town, 

and told him what's goin' down. 

We're usin' one of the county detectives undercover 

to see if he can discover 

Stuff goin' on.

 

 Can't just go arrest them fellers less, 

we know fer sure they're makin' a mess, 

Breakin' the law, ya'll understand? 

Let the police protect the land! 

 

Most the complaints been filed 

From you guys that's gone wild 

When the barber shop opened up. 

With all the whores, gamblin' and booze, 

Was a lot of fun for you guys to choose, 

Until Luigi done somethin' ya'll didn't want to pass, 

Now ya wanna go over there and kick his ass! 

 

Ain't gonna arrest them fellers unless, 

we know fer sure they're makin' a mess, 

Breakin' the law, ya'll got it? GOT IT? 

Let the police protect the land! 

 

All you fellers, go on home and behave! No reason to holler and raise yer fists! Ain't a gonna be nobody taking the law in their own hands, Listen! Shore ain't gonna be vigilante bullshit as long as I'm chief of police!

 

Can't just go arrest them fellers less, 

we know fer sure they're makin' a mess, 

Breakin' the law, ya'll understand? 

Let the police protect the land! 

 

I mean what I say, no vigilante bullshit! If anythin' happens, I'll go right down the goddam line and throw each one of your asses in jail for disturbin' the peace. NOW GO ON HOME, ALL OF YOU!

 

 As for you, Sammy....I know why you're so mad. Nothin' gets by us in this town. We know Luigi slept with yer wife. We know she wants a divorce. You’re gonna have to control yourself, my friend. Gettin' a piece of Luigi in revenge ain't gonna make nothin' easier. Ya'll need to talk, I'm here for you. We've known each other a long time, and I can't imagine how you're hurtin'. You got lots of friends 'round here you grew up with. Don't throw it all away by doin' somethin' stupid!

 

*Paducah is the county seat of McCracken county, Kentucky

Toothless Mabel - Eat At The Y

 Mabel Hicastle, better known by her blues moniker Toothlesss Mabel had a setback in her battle with cancer. After going through extensive surgery to her left leg for cancer, chemotherapy caused a gum disease that led to her teeth having to be extracted. She was recovering well, her oral cancer was a success and she was learning how to cope with her dentures, as well as the leg surgery which cost some muscle and lymph node loss. Now after all that, she developed a tumor in her foot. It was successfully removed, and cost her the big toe and another toe on that foot. She's recovering well again, but there's doubt whether she'll go back to being an RN at the local hospital. She for sure won't be able to work the floor, as her left leg won't be able to stand the pressure of her being o n her feet all day. Hopefully she can fit in somewhere that will take advantage of her knowledge and accommodate her physical needs. 

In the meantime, she was really getting the blues having to sit at home recuperating, so Big Marv, our resident recording producer (and crazy good piano player with his own group The Hodads)got wind of her plight. He talked her into coming into the studio to record. She showed u pin a wheelchair with as brace on her leg. She had a song all ready, Big Marv gave his band some direction and they were ready. Mabel insisted on standing up to play and sing, and got through 6 takes until she got the one she wanted. And as can be heard on the recording, she was in fine voice.

Big Marv has taken a liking to the blues singers here at Big And Tall Records, and offers up himself and his band for backup and any other help they may need. He can be heard on Tugboat Jackson's latest recordings as well.

Mabel offers up a song about how her man takes care of her with a special action. Sounds like those two not only have a good, loving relationship, but have a lot of fun as well! 

 Sang about how I take care of my man

 And he sure does like it a lot 

But don’t want to give the wrong idea! 

 

He gives a lot to me, quick with his hand, 

He treats me awfully hot! 

He loves me that I know for real! 

 

There’s all kinds of love he gives to me 

Respect and a real sweet kiss, 

I know I’m his woman for real. 

 

He honors me too, lets me be free 

To express all of my bliss, 

Even when he gives a quick feel! 

 

 But the one thing he does sets me off! 

Every time without fail! 

Opens my heart sets me free! 

 

He slowly takes my clothes off, 

Makes me feel almost frail, 

When he goes down.........and eats at the Y! 

 

 Lovin' for us, is a two way street, 

Give what you want, get what you need, 

From your head all the way to your feet,

 Makes our lovin' so complete. 

 

He eats at the Y, and I know why, 

He loves me more than he can say.

 When he asks or offers, never pass it by

 He loves to go down...... eat at the Y! 

 

When two people love such as us 

We seem to be connected thus 

Nothin' we wouldn't do for each other 

Try to never raise a fuss! 

 

He eats at the Y, and I know why, 

He loves me more than he can say. 

When he asks or offers, never pass it by

 He loves to go down...... eat at the Y! 

 

 

Tugboat Jackson - How Do You Feel Now?

It's fitting that the latest by Tugboat Jackson would be released on Martin Luther King day. As a man of color, he's seen the effects of racial profiling and prejudice against his race,  and others of differing races and creeds, as well as the poor of all races. Tugboats comments:

I talk to lots of folks from bein' in the hardware business for many years. Sometimes when the topic goes to race and such, some people say, "But Tug, things have gotten better, don't you think?" Now I admit, in my younger days that used to get me riled, but some are insulated from things still going on, some want to just dismiss it and not talk about it, some think that because it's better means people need to quit bitchin'. Better is better. Can't accept that as the final answer when I know we can do more. I'll never see the day when people look at me and see just a man, instead of a black man. And that goes for anyone, whether black or white, skinny or fat. Whatever your physical appearance is what you're going to be recognized as. Whether that will change, if it's even possible to change because it's human nature, is the issue. Maybe if we all acknowledge we do it, and come to terms with it, understand that we should work hard not to categorize people from a first impression, is the way to go. But I'm just a blues singer. You wanna know what I think, listen to my songs.

Yes indeed. 'Tug' has a lot to say, and we at Big And Tall Records are lucky to have him as one of our artists!

How do you feel now, honored sir? 

Tell me, how you feel now, honored sir? 

Now that you've put 'nother brother in stir? 

 

Made yourself feel better, your honor? 

Bet you made yourself feel better, your honor? 

Throwin' an immigrant family asunder! 

 

Don't get me wrong, person should pay 

For skirtin' a law get his way 

But why should the color of their skin 

Make a difference, any way? 

 

 Just look at who's in jail, 

The ones who can't make bail, 

Many times the same old song, 

Got a skin color that's wrong. 

 

Did you do a good thing, patrolling the street? 

Did a real good thing, patrolling the street? 

Man with a badge, watching your beat? 

 

 Arrested a man, didn’t give him slack. 

Arrested a man didn’t give him slack. 

He had the nerve to walk the street while black! 

 

 Don't get me wrong, not just the ones of color,

 Get ill treated, but you'll discover 

Proportionally, you got to be careful 

Make sure you keep a good cover.

 

 Just look at who they've got it in for 

The black, the brown, and the poor, 

But the ones who get to walk away 

Are the rich, who don't have to pay.

 

 

Tugboat Jackson - The Pendulum Swings

 Tugboat Jackson continues to write and perform with passion. He's got more time now that he's semi-retired, and has a few things to say, and not only in his songs :

My playing is getting lots better, now that I can give it a few hours every day to get back my chops. Not braggin' but I used to be top-notch, and it took lots of work to get there. But it takes a lot of work to keep up that level too. I heard a classical piano player say once that technique is like money; If you want it, you gotta work for it. And if you're lucky enough and work hard enough to gather a fortune, it takes a lot of work to keep it too. Well, I got enough money to get me by comfortably, but I want my technique fortune back! So I pass my practice time in my music room, a small bedroom in my house. My sweet wife understands my need to practice, and she don't bother me if she can help it. When my fingers are goin', it can make my mind work too. I've come up with most of my songs while practicin'. Not improvising, but playing scales and exercises I've come up with over the years. Can't write 'em down, never learned how to read or write music outside of chord symbols. I envy those who've had the experience and education that can do that, but I've been doin' it this way all my life, and got no gumption to work that hard now!

Tugboat's artistry has impressed some of our other artists here at Big And Tall Records. Big Marv and The Hodads did a cover of Tugboat's song 'Keep Lovin' , and some of the band are featured on this recent recording. They provide a discreet backing that Tugboat really appreciates! 

The only constant is change 

Yeah, the only constant is change. 

Just as soon as it‘s level 

It goes to the devil 

And falls in another range. 

 

 The pendulum always swings 

The pendulum always swings 

It’ll heads towards another, 

Then swing towards the other,

 It’s usually change it brings 

 

Sometimes swings fast, sometimes slow 

Swingin’ real fast, sometimes real slow 

When it takes a notion, 

To change its motion,

 Can’t always predict the way it’ll go. 

 

If you figure it out, 

You'll have no doubt

 And live your life accordingly. 

Look out and see, 

 the minority 

Got most all the money!

 

 Some people think dead center is best, 

Some think dead in the middle is best 

But you walk and can’t get a ride, 

You gotta pick a side, 

Walkin’ the middle of the road ain’t the best. 

 

I read nature always tries for a balance

 Nature’s laws always shoot for a balance,

 But the scales always a skew, 

If not for me, then for you 

The majority of us ain’t got a chance!

 

 If you figure it out, 

You'll have no doubt

 And live your life accordingly.

 Look out and see, the minority 

Got most all the money!

 

 

The Noir Players - Memento Mori

 The Noir Players continue their recordings of rather morbid subjects, this time being a ditty they name Memento Mori, which is a Latin term that roughly translates as 'Remember, you will die. The phrase has acted for hundreds of years as a reminder to all that we have the same fate. The theme has been represented by many forms in art in poems, books, paintings, and music.

In music it has seen the form of the Danse Macabre, or Dance of Death, and it is in  this form that The Noir Players recording is in. This 'tune' is pretty noisy, appropriate enough for the genre, and the lead singer is pretty frantic, especially towards the end. Be interesting to see what this group comes up with at Halloween time! 

In the moonlight shadows spin 

Chatters in the wind begin 

Dark is the night outside 

With death we slowly glide 

 

Echoes scream in the dark 

Heartbeats unequal and stark 

The mood will sway 

With the finale we play 

 

Death's dance engulfs us all 

Weak, strong, large and small 

Shrieks with the shivering night 

Hopelessly black is the sight. 

 

Dirty fog flows over the floor 

Feet that dance, bloody and sore 

No time to stop and rest 

By death we're all possessed 

 

Eerie murmurs, damning sound 

Echo off the frozen ground 

Every step we're drawn within 

The damning music pulls us in 

 

Death's dance engulfs us all 

Weak, strong, large and small 

Shrieks with the shivering night 

Hopelessly black is the fright. 

 

We see the already dead dance as well, 

With entrails hanging, tangling their feet. 

They break all to pieces, all fell, 

Proves death is not so sweet! 

 

 It awaits all of you! 

There's nothing you can do! 

Hopefully delay it, a little while,

 But death will show its smile 

 

Death is not satisfied with few, 

It takes all, including you! 

You'll dance with shivering fright 

And feel death's killing bite!

 

 It awaits all of you! 

There's nothing you can do! 

Hopefully delay it, a little while,

But death will show its smile 

 

And on the morning, on the next day. 

The living will not know passed this way. 

They have no idea how it is so rough, 

But they'll find out soon enough!

 

Melvin Peckerwood And The Mama's Boys - Jumpin' Ship

It was bound to happen, even within a group like Melvin Peckerwood and The Mama's Boys; a break up song. But the group usually has their tongue firmly in cheek, and this song is no different. Once a short list of reasons for a possible breakup, the camel's back, the last straw, is finally reached. We'll leave it to the listener to find out what that reason was, and this previous song by the may be needed as a reference point: My Hero's Name Is Elmer

My hero's name is Elmer, 

He always got the shaft! 

From the dirty low down rabbit, 

Whenever he crossed his path!

 

 Elmer Fudd, got the shaft! 

He wasn't a crazy guy! 

He just talked a little funny, 

That’s the reason why, 

 

The trickster rabbit, always made his life miserable! 

On that you can rely! 

But the writer's at the studio 

Is the reason why! 

 

Elmer Fudd, got the shaft!

 He wasn't a crazy guy! 

He just talked a little funny, 

That’s the reason why, 

 

They always made him look dumb, 

But he's the smarter of the two!

 But when poor old Elmer got a script, 

It always made him blue! 

 

Elmer Fudd, got the shaft! 

He wasn't a crazy guy! 

He just talked a little funny, 

That’s the reason why, 

 

He wanted to put the rabbit, 

In a rabbit stew! 

He also wanted to blast him into 

A billion rabbit cutlets too! 

 

But never would they let him,

 He always ended up in a fix!

He just talked a little funny, 

They treated him like a bunch of dicks! 

 

If I had a lot of money, 

Tell you what I'd do! 

I'd remake all those old cartoons, 

And put the rabbit in the stew!

 

 And blast him all to smithereens, 

lop his ears off too! 

And while I was at it, I'd have him 

Shoot that crazy duck too! 

 

Go, my hero!

 Show what you could do! 

When those creeps at the studio, 

No longer told you what to do! 

 

 My hero! Elmer!

 

The Nude Polka Kings - The Smelly Feet Polka

 Seems there's a Polka for everything, and the The Nude Polka Kings have contributed to the genre with The Nudie Polka, Pigs In A Polka, and now The Smelly Feet Polka. The group has a knack for writing offbeat lyrics to go along with their great music, and it makes us at Big And Tall Records wonder if some of their ideas are taken from real life. We know by the group's name that The Nudie Polka is, as one of our associates actually heard them perform it live. And everyone in  the dance hall was nude as well! That was one time when the rest of us were glad we weren't there! And of course, their infamous Pigs In A Polka. Makes us wonder if somewhere along the line pigs were actually in a polka. Stranger things have happened....

This latest offering may have very well came from experience as well, although it's kind of hard to believe as it's related in the song. But once again, stranger things have happened. 

When you see a pretty girl that you want to meet, 

Introduce yourself calmly, give her a friendly greet. 

If she wants to dance with you, on the dance floor when you meet, 

If you notice a nasty smell, it just might be her feet! 

 

 Dirty feet! Wafting potent! 

Really smelly, like month dead rodent! 

When she stomps, looks at your face, 

Might be her feet stinkin' up the place! 

 

Of course you must be demure, and be a gentleman, 

Until you're really sure, so just listen to the band. 

And dance a lively dance, with kicks and other ways, 

To get her feet in the air, to see if bad smelling stays! 

 

Pungent tootsie, rank old dogs! 

Stinking like encrusted hogs! 

With her hair of golden locks, 

The stench comes through her socks! 

 

You'll try to get away from her, she wants to stay with you. 

She wants to get closer, but your eyes start to blur. 

You're hoping for a miracle, but you will never win. 

Tradition says that women can't ever cut in. 

 

 Holy Mother Mary! On the dance floor, 

You can't take much more, 

As she raises her feet and slams

Releasing more and more toe jam! 

 

 Finally you get a reprieve, 

She's tired, needs to sit down. 

But you notice, as she leaves 

The stink is still going down! 

 

You sneak to the bathroom, and leave the happy crew. 

You get into a stall, and start to untie your shoe. 

Your nose is hit with a putrid stench, that you thought had flown, 

For now you recognize, the nasty stink was your own! 

 

You try to wash the nasty smell off them in the sink. 

But it is such a terrible smell, you can't get out the stink! 

 The pretty blonde waits for you, outside the bathroom door. 

She's taken a liking to you, wants to dance some more! 

 You struggle with a decision, now you know its you, with such rotten feet, but she is so cute!

 

Dirty feet! Wafting potent! 

Really smelly, like month dead rodent! 

When you stomp and dance all the while, 

Her face has such a happy smile! 

Maybe she's into stinky feet? 

The Noir Players - The Banshee

The latest from The Noir Players is a piece about the ancient Celtic legend of The Banshee.  The Irish legend says for the most part that it is a female spirit that wails and cries at the death of a family member. There are numerous regional differences in its appearance and behavior, and the term Banshee comes from Old Irish and roughly translates as 'fairy woman'. 

There have been many depictions of the Banshee in the arts, with a particularly vivid portrayal in  the 1959 Disney movie Darby O'Gill And The Little People. Some of our associates have seen the movie, with one of them being old enough to have seen it when it premiered! Disney himself went to Ireland twice and did research in Gaelic folklore as well as interviewing Irish Storytellers. Besides portrayals of Leprechauns , a Banshee appears amongst the ruins on top of a mountain

Compared to modern special effects, this might seem a little tame, but to a boy of 7 (our associate) that has a very clear memory of seeing it +60 years ago, it was terrifying! 

The Noir Players piece is short and atmospheric, and the group very seldom creates music of the atonal or of ultra dissonance the way this could be portrayed. 

In misty moors she wails 

A cry so cold it chills 

Ghostly sound whispers woe 

Wherever she roams 

 

 In fog her shadow nears 

The world of unseen fears 

Voice that cuts through the veil

 Of the fog strewn night 

 

 The banshee’s song on the breeze 

Makes brave men freeze 

With every note a death forms 

In a ghostly, misty form 

 

She glides beneath ancient trees 

Haunting a world few can see 

Fields soaked in sorrow's lore

 Her scream's been heard before 

 

Celtic stars so bright 

In the dead of night 

Through the glens 

To souls their ends 

 

The banshee’s song on the breeze 

Makes brave men freeze 

With every note a death forms 

In a ghostly, misty form