The Nude Polka Kings - The Nudie Polka

The first Polka recording we issued was Polka Polka! growled out by the octogenarian Ziegniew 'Zbig' Szafrański. That rendition was good for something different,but we still wanted a more traditional example in our catalog. So an associate sent us this recording. We listened to it, and....so much for a more traditional example!

There is nothing traditional about the song The Nude Polka Kings perform, The Nudie Polka, and absolutely nothing traditional about how they perform it. As per their name, they perform wearing shoes and socks, maybe a hat, but nothing else but the instrument they play. There are even warnings in the song concerning the dangers of performing polka music in the nude while playing an accordion, something we've not contemplated previously. 

Our associate stumbled upon them in a trip to the out-lying polka halls in the Polish areas of Chicago. His report sent along with the video states that the band brags that they are the only Polka Band that performs exclusively in the nude, and we have no cause (or interest, quite frankly) in trying to prove them wrong. To us, it is a dubious distinction at best. 

But the band is proud of what they do, and they are a more than competent polka band. It probably goes without saying, but their opportunities to perform were restricted to nudist colonies and other nudist venues. So they had problems getting enough work to sustain the band what with traveling expenses, wages of the musicians and technical crew. So they scrounged up enough money to buy an old abandoned dance hall in Chicago that was slated for demolition. They refurbished  the hall themselves over many months, with a lot of help from a handful of their fans, and everyone that was willing to help had to do it in the nude. They are devout nudists first and foremost. So during renovations there was more than just hammers swinging...

They have their own polka hall, a liquor license for beer and wine, and a fine kitchen that provides traditional Polish cuisine as well as American food. The hall has many amenities that take into consideration the conditions of dis-robement of their patrons. Yes, to be admitted in their hall, you must take off your clothes! Only exceptions are for medical reasons (whatever those may be). And the place is busier than you may suspect! Weeknight attendance can be somewhat sparse, but Friday and Saturday nights make up for that!

Chicago has been known to have some arctic-like weather in the winter, so a state of the art hot water heating system has been built into  the floor and the stage. This system also includes the bench seating around the tables. So the beer might be cold, but your ass won't be! There's also a state of the art air conditioning system for the high temperature/high humidity summers in Chicago. They strive to have an electronically controlled climate system that keeps the environment in the hall constant, no matter the weather outside.They also have made a concession to the realities for the ladies, as there are twice as many women's bathrooms as men's. There is as well an extensive system of locker rooms with showers for people to store their clothing and shower up after a long evening of dancing. They admit to charging much more for entrance as well as food and drink, but they say part of the reason is the uniqueness of their venue, added expense for extra heating and cooling, etc.  They even have their own bus that will come get you and take you home so you don't have to worry about driving after drinking. This service is free of charge for regular customers that have earned their 'Gold Pass', but there is a small fee for everyone else. That's a solid business move, encourages patrons to drink up with no worries about picking up a DWI on the way home. The 'Kings' have said this service has paid for itself many times over.

Once they found out our associate wanted to make a recording of them to send to us, they waived all the fees and their technical crew helped set up the recording equipment. But they didn't waive the demand for nudity, and our associate spent the rest of the evening nude. He said at first he was embarrassed, but after a while, after seeing everyone else nude (and we can imagine some of them not the prettiest of sights) he forgot all about it and enjoyed himself. And he said there really is a barmaid named Magda, that she is exceedingly endowed, and that there's usually at least one drunked-up Polka fan that tries to lick beer off ......well, the song says the rest. 

We pondered whether we wanted this kind of craziness in our catalog, but we finally thought...why not!