Travis V. McGonigle - The Barber Of Paducah Libretto - ACT II

 


 ACT II
SCENE 1

The barbershop has been busy the past few weeks, and Luigi has continued his philandering. He's hired Benny, a local young man, to be what Luigi calls his 'stooge', someone who knows people in town and knows everyone's business. Benny arrives one day as the barbershop is opening, and he relays a warning to Luigi - 

Benny's aria -
 
Hey Boss! Got some things to tell ya! Figured I best come right away!
Seems like there's rumblin's goin' on 'bout all the wives that done strayed!
Ain't the best time to keep it goin', their husbands figured it all out
They're pretty angry, many of 'em, nary much room for any doubt
 
'Specially Sammy, owns the hardware store, always been half a bubble off plumb
Fingered it out you done slept with his wife. You ain't tried to hide it, that were dumb!
Ol' Sammy's a big strappin' feller. He'll break ya'll in half like a stick
Nary nothin' left when he gets done, the thought of it makes me 'bout sick

What in the bloomin' hell's wrong with y'all? Why ya gotta start all this trouble?
Ain't there enough unmarried gals? You best run and hide on the double!
I'll put ya up at my place okay? Tony here can keep cuttin' hair.
Stay outta sight, til it blows over. I won't tell a livin' soul that you're there
 
Ya ain't got no clue what cane happen. I seen Sammy in a fight afore.
Took on a feller 'bout the same size, there were bruises and blood galore
But if y'all insist on stayin', tell me, can ya handle yer dukes?
I also seen little guys like yerself beat up these big ol' galoots!
 
So keep yer eye peeled fer Sammy. He's gonna show up sooner or later.
I'm tellin' ya, he's the leader of the group that's known as the Luigi haters
Ya ain't got no clue what cane happen. I seen Sammy in a fight afore
Took on a feller 'bout the same size, there were bruises and blood galore...
And t'wernt none of it Sammys!
 
Luigi's hot Italian blood erupts in an aria -
 
BASTA! 
 
That will be the damned day I turn the tail and I run!
Sammy owe me so much money for having all of his fun!
Do he think, I do for nothing? Me and his wife, it is true
Make the love all the time. He's a hardly true blue!

His wife Jill tell me stories. How he disappear go away
He no come back for long time. He go to other town for to stray
So Sammie’s got some nerve spreading threats through dumb Benny
So he can come anytime, for fear, I don’t have any!

BASTA!
Sammy owe me for crap game! For horse racing betting too!
Don’t ask about all of the whores he never pay for him to screw!
I don’t care how big and strong, Antonio, we know to fight!
Raised in Fascist Italy! Not afraid, of cowardly might!

Jill also tell a me so much how Sammy mistreat her and strike
I seen all the bruises he gives her every night!
The Italian resistance taught how to defend a my life
If a he think can push me around, he find out I not his wife!

We learn how to slit the throats Antonio?... Remember?... Si?...
How to kill, leave no trace...Like black shirts, of Mussolini!
BASTA! BASTA! Not his wife! BASTA! BASTA! Protect my life!
BASTA! BASTA! Goddamn him! He no want to threaten my LIFE............!
 
 
That will be the damned day I turn the tail and I run!
Sammy owe me so much money for having all of his fun!
Do he think, I do for nothing? Me and his wife, it is true
Make the love all the time. He's a hardly true blue!

His wife Jill tell me stories. How he disappear go away
He no come back for long time. He go to other town for to stray
So Sammie’s got some nerve spreading threats through dumb Benny
So he can come anytime, for fear, I don’t have any!

Sammy owe me for crap game! For horse racing betting too!
Don’t ask about all of the whores he never pay for him to screw!
I don’t care how big and strong, Antonio, we know to fight!
Raised in Fascist Italy! Not afraid, of cowardly might!

Jill also tell a me so much how Sammy mistreat her and strike
I seen all the bruises he gives her every night!
The Italian resistance taught how to defend a my life
If a he think can push me around, he find out I not his wife! 
 
BASTA! BASTA! Not his wife! BASTA! BASTA! Protect my life!
BASTA! BASTA! Goddamn him! He no want to threaten my LIFE............!
 
 
Ever the voice of reason, Luigi's brother Antonio stops sweeping the floor and 
calms down his brother, while admonishing him for his involvement with married women.
 
Antonio's aria - 
 
I think you should calm down. Remember where we are at
Is not back in Italia. Those times I do not want go back
Take the advice of Benito. He knows the people here better
No need to talk of slitting throats. Luigi, you know much better

You quit romance married women .Is noting but trouble for you
Do not let Sammy back in here. Tell his wife that you are all through
Brother the same old story. Gotta make youself a big shot
Everywhere we have going, peace and quiet we have not!

So have you fun with women, make sure they single, is all
Otherwise, you get in trouble, an you might take a big fall
I know brother, you have no fear. I gotta nuff for us two
I wanna see you live long, always want it to be us two...
 
You quit romancing married ladies. What about the blond next door
The one who run the flower shop is nice a girl, not an ol' whore....
I know brother, you have no fear, I gotta nuff for us two
I wanna see you live long, always want it to be us two...

You quit romancing married ladies
What about the blond next door
The one who run the flower shop
Is nice a girl, not an ol' whore....

 
Antonio puts an arm around Luigi and they go to the backroom of the barbershop to have a talk.The patrons discuss what they've just heard, and consider making book on how long Luigi will last against Sammy - 
 
Patrons - Making Book On Luigi
 
Sammy (Sammy) Sammy (Sammy)
Anyone want to tell Sammy
Luigi's nare 'fraid of him!
Chances he'll back down are slim

Hate to see this good thing we got
Come to a terrible end!
But we know Sammy very well
His honor he will defend

Luigi needs to make some amends
For making Sam's wife cheat on him
But Luigi ain't 'fraid at all...
Chances he'll back down are slim

Sammy (Sammy) Sammy (Sammy)
Anyone want to tell Sammy
Luigi's nare 'fraid of him!
The chances he'll back down are slim!

Sammy will kill him! Bust in his head!
The fight ain't fair tall!
(But Luigi is a scrappy guy
you heerd what he said about slittin' throats!)

Nah!...
Luigi's gonna push up daisies!
He ain't got no chance!

If ya think Luigi's a goner,
PUT YER MONEY WHERE YER MOUTH IS!...

Aw, that jest don’t seem so right!
Bettin' on somethin' 'bout to pass
We got attached to Luigi
Sammy's gonna beat his ass

We gonna help stop Sammy then?
We got him fair outnumbered?
(What the hay ell's fun 'bout that!
Sammy aint' to be encumbered
If ya'll wanna place yer bets!)

Place yer bets, you sons of bitches!
Place yer bets, fore Luigi twitches!

Who will gimme 2 to 1
Luigi's the underdog
This'll be a lot of fun
Sammy'll stick em like a hog!

(Luigi's been good to us
Don’t seem right make book on him!)
What in hell ya talkin' 'bout?
Betting chances been mighty slim!

Who will gimme 2 to 1
Luigi's the underdog
This'll be a lot of fun
Sammy'll stick em like a hog!

(2 to one ain’t no damn way
Gotta be 3 to one for me to stay!)
I'll bet he don’t last more than 5
You're takin' the bet, you say?

What will happen when he loses?
Will he close up the shop and leave?
(And what if Sammy kills him!
We will all surely grieve!)

We can keep the whores goin'
With Marge over at the hotel
No Luigi to take his cut
They'll be much cheaper to sell!

There's guys here know how to make book
Got connections at the horse track
So we'll still be able to wager
Make some money by the stack!

Who will gimme 2 to 1
Luigi's the underdog
This'll be a lot of fun
Sammy'll stick em like a hog!

What will happen to Antonio?
He is such a nice guy and friend!
(What?... He's a goddamn dago!
For himself he can go defend!)

Too bad we can't organize
And make this a real event!
We could sell a lot of tickets
To see Luigi get all bent!

Cheer Luigi on to look good.
Boo Sammy when he beats him down
When the Sheriff hauls him away
Count the money without a frown

(Boy, that's the way to treat a friend!
Friends like you we do not need
Backstab him and sell him out
Watch him down and out and bleed!)

Who will gimme 2 to 1
Luigi's the underdog
This'll be a lot of fun
Sammy'll stick em like a hog!

PLACE YER bets, YOU SONS OF BITCHES!
After the doc done sews him up
How many bandages and stitches
Will it take to patch him up?

How long will the dago last?
Will he land any fists?
Will he crumple like paper?
Will he bleed out like a stuck hog?
Will he cry out for his Mama?
With all his punches he missed?

PLACE YER bets!
PLACE YER bets!
PLACE YER bets....!

 
SCENE 2
Luigi and Antonio have had a very busy day at the shop, and as Luigi 
brushes the suit of the last customer of the day, he looks at Antonio 
who is sweeping the floor.
 
Luigi's aria - 
 
Hey, Antonio! We been a busy all day!I been thinking 'bout what you say this morning,
And I will no more stray with married women! NO! I serious! Very so!

You make a me angry earlier
With the things that to me you said
Madder I got, righter you are
I get crazy in a my head

Is nice a town here, Paducah
We really would like to stay
So I must a quit all nonsense
I promise no longer I stray

But I need a to have a woman
You know it's true my dear Brother
But I want a steady lady
Not these one, that one, or other

So I take a you advice, yes!
Get more acquainted next a door
Louisa is such pretty lady
I hope she don’t think I a bore!

Every morning in flower shop
We will have a little talk
She choose a flower for my coat
She put it in my buttonhole
I get a lump in a my throat
She pat a my chest and shoulder…
My heart it start to float....

I like a her so very much
She sweet as a sweet can a be
So I will ask her to dinner
And see if she really likes me

You have a woman here
You love her so well
It not fair to make you leave
I do not act so very well
 
 I too need to have a woman
Who love me sweetly?
A steady lady pretty, nice
Maybe even to marry

So let’s work together
To make a the shop pay good
We could a have some bambinos
NO! I tell you we could!

But Jill and her husband
Cause much trouble, so big
I have not to see Jill…NO!
No matter what she say

But Louisa…

I like her so very much
She sweet as a sweet can be
So I will ask her to dinner
And see if she really likes me

Yes, you have a woman here
You love her so well, I know!
It not fair to make you leave
You want to to be her beau!

Luigi need to have woman
Who love a strong a lee
A pretty, fair, sweet woman
Maybe even to marry

Let us a work together, YES!
To make a the shop pay good
Have some bambinos, YES
I tell you that we should!

Jill going to be unhappy
Convince her I not a love her
Try make Sammy no jealous
Avoid some trouble big for sure
But Louisa…
Louisa...
Louisa...!

I like her so very much
She sweet as a sweet can be
So I will ask her to dinner
And see if she really likes me

I like her so very much
She sweet as a sweet can be
So I will ask her to dinner
I think that she... like me...

 Antonio greets Luigi's comments with joy!
 
 Antonio's aria -
Ah, spoken truly from you heart, my brother!

I tell you what you should do
Comb you hair, wash you face
Buff you shoes, dust off you suit
And go right now to her place!

Is no time like the present!
Don’t wait, go ask her tonight
She do that with the flower each day
You surprise her with delight!

Si, si! I have pretty woman
She Paducah born and bred
She like my Italiano ways
She gotta pretty hair is red!

We talk 'bout getting married
But I no think we can stay
Because of all you mischief
With the women that you stray

But if...
You change you ways Brother
Can become reality!
I ask the pretty lady
If she will marry... me!

You make a me so happy...
Go! I clean up a the shop!
Have a good time! Take her to the
Restaurante down the street. It’s good!

Si, si! I have pretty woman
She Paducah born and bred
She like my Italiano ways
She gotta pretty hair is red!

We talk 'bout getting married
But I no think we can stay
Because of all you mischief
With the women that you stray

But if...
You change you ways Brother
Can become reality!
I ask the pretty lady
If she will marry... me!


SCENE 3
The Flower Shop 
 Jill arrives back at her flowershop after having dinner with Luigi
 
Louisa’s aria -
I saw him almost every they the past few months
Always had a nice short chat, picked out a flower for his lapel.
The past few weeks our chats have grown longer.
And tonight...tonight he came into my shop,
Asked to take me to dinner. I was tired, but could not refuse!

We walked to the restaurant.It was but a short way away
He conversed nicely, as we walked, while I smiled...had not much to say
He was a charming gentleman, held the door, helped me with my chair
Not used to being treated thus, an experience all so rare

We chatted while we ate the food.It was good, the chat I mean
Can't remember what I ate, but his words were like a dream...

Are you for real? Luigi?
Are you for real, so handsome
Clean cut, immaculately dressed
I felt warm, even winsome...

We talked so long, the restaurant started to close.
We laughed at each other, and got up to go.
He paid the bill...and tipped generously.
And my thoughts went off afar,
And I thought to myself again...Are you for real?...

The spring night air was warm and fresh. I didn't want the walk to stop
We took our time, despite the time .He was walking me home to my shop
He said he had a pleasant night .I told him I had the same
A sweet smile was on his face when he asked to see me again

My heart beat faster, I said yes! And not just at the flower shop
He said of course, my dear! Those words made my footsteps stop!

Are you for real? Luigi?
Are you for real, so debonair?
Smell so nice, hair trimmed so well
I'm afraid I began to stare...

We regrettably got to my flower shop door
I looked inside to see if Aunt Cora was waiting up,
But the lights were off.
He took my hands in his, and wished me
A very good night.
That's when I made him an offer...

Would you like to come inside? I can make some coffee for us
We can talk a little longer, really, it's no muss, no fuss...
He smiled that radiant smile and thanked me for the offer
But the night was growing late. He did not want to be a bother

I told him it was no bother, be a nice end to a nice night
He said perhaps another time...Then I hugged him...really tight!

Are you for real? Luigi?
So nice, so honorable
Lesser men might take the offer
And not been so favorable

I held him fast, he returned the hug,
And gave me a short kiss on each cheek.
I unlocked the door, and he held it as I walked in.
He tipped his hat...said goodnight..
And I've been standing here ever since...

Scene 4
The Barbershop, 3:00 in the morning

Luigi and Antonio are asleep in the apartments in the back of the barbershop. 
Luigi is restless, tossing and turning, when he begins to hear a pounding on the 
back door. He finally gets up and grabs a shotgun...
 
Luigi-
Wait a god a damn minuto! Hold a you horses! Who the hell is it?
(Door opens)
Jill! Whatsa matter for you?
Do not you know what is the time?
I got shotgun ready, Si!
In case it is going be a crime!

Jill -
Luigi! My love! I was scared! Been trying to call you all night!
But only a busy signal gave me a horrible fright!
If anything happens to you, I would not be able to stand!
I love you more than I ever have loved any other man!
Kiss me, my darling! My dear! Sammy's leaving tomorrow
For at least three whole days and nights! Come to me, relieve my sorrow!

Luigi -
Please! Come in and sit down, We have a to talk I think
Some a thing I need to tell you. Calm down, I'll get you a drink
The time has come for us both to realize we are all through
I don’t a love you, just have sex. To lead you on, not fair to you
We had a lot of fun, yes yes! Ishowed how to get what you need
You feminine ways to pleasure I helped you unlock with my key!
But I am no good for long term, I a man full of sin and deceit
I will not be a faithful...Your love I will surely defeat!

Jill -
Wait! You're dumping me? I love you! I'm leaving Sammy for you!
You cannot be serious! What will I do? WHAT WILL I DO!
You son of a bitch! You used me! Told me words of love so sweet
While you were laying on top of me, yes! Words of lies and deceit!
I have been such a fool for you, ready to change my whole life
For a man I thought loved me, that gave me heartache and strife!
I refuse to give you up! I can't go back to Sammy
You see what he does to me! His touch just leaves me clammy!
You're mine, Luigi! All mine!

Luigi -
BASTA! I HAVE HEARD ENOUGH!
You must leave now, I have heard enough!
Its over, is done, is through!
I do not want anything else.
To do with any of you!
You enjoyed making a love with me.
Had feelings like never before.
You be a lady in public
In bedroom you sex crazy whore!
Leave on you own, you better do
Or I'll throw you ass out the door
Don’t matter what a you say
Claw and scratch on a the floor!
SO GO!
You must leave now, I have heard enough!
Its over, is done, is through!
I do not a want anything else.
To do with any of you!
You enjoyed making a love with me.
Had feelings like never before .
You be a lady in public
In bedroom you sex crazy whore!
Leave on you own, you better do
Or I'll throw you ass out the door
Don’t matter what a you say
Claw and scratch on the floor!
SO GO!


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Travis V. McGonigle - The Barber Of Paducah - Synopsis Act II

Libretto For Act II Can Be Found Here   ACT II SCENE 1 The barbershop has been busy the past few weeks, and Luigi has continued his phil...