Reginald Poindexter Farquahar (The Third) is a mighty mouthful of a name for a new character at Big And Tall Records.
Reginald P. Farquahar III is our newest artist. He is, as he states in this song belongs to a long line of distinguished professional men in the plumbing trade (he's a retired plumber) who, in his retirement, is trying to transform himself into a proper, erudite, British gentleman. The problems he's having with that are apparent just by his appearance. A ratty looking tweed suit that has seen better days, and he' still wearing his high top plumber's boots with his pantlegs tucked inside. When he speaks, he can keep up the posh accent for a while, excessive tongue rolling and all, but when he gets angry or things don't go right, he lapses right back into his usual accent. In this song he tries to use his fancy language on a lady 'with a pedigree as long as yer arm', to have supper with him as a posh restaurant. When she refuses, his accent returns with a vengeance!
We can foresee further issues with Reggie's plan of trying to turn 'posh'. An accent of any kind is difficult to change, and we suspect that not only the accent is the issue, but his choice of words will be as well. A plumber's job can be really hard, dirty work, and when things go exceedingly wrong the language can turn equally hard and dirty! Good luck to you, Reggie! We'll be following along here at Big And Tall Records to see how he copes. But we personally don't see nothin' amiss wi' a mate goin' to de pub fer a point and a larf!
Allow me to introduce meself…um..
Myself...I am Reginald P. Farquahar III
I come from a long line of distinguished
Professional men in the plumbing trade.
I am now retired, and practice my
Transformation from a commoner to a cultured,
Erudite British gentleman! Watch me as I entice
An elegant British woman with a pedigree be long a yer arm…oh...
From a very fine family...to accompany me to dinner!
Excuse me dear Lady, if I may be so bold
A beauty like yours should not sit in the cold
Permit me to escort you to a grand dining hall
For a spot of fine supper, the finest of all!
I shall order the caviar, vintage champagne
To be in your presence is my ultimate gain.
Oh, the evenin’ be young, and the stars be aligned
For a high-class affair of a grander design!...
(Me belly is rumblin’ I could eat a whole cow,
But I must play the gent, got to keep it up now!)
I offer up me arm if'n ya please,
To guide you along with absolute ease...
We’ll dine like the gentry, oh will be sublime
I reckon to show you a real good time!
So what do you say, mum? Let’s head out the door,
A high-class arrangement you canna ignore.
Don't look at me so, thus, with an eye of distain!
My noble intentions are perfectly plain!
I'm a man of... great...substance...
a real upper-crust.
(Blimey, me collar be fit-to-bloody-bust!!)
Won't you grant me this favor, me elegant bird?...
Uh...Lady!...I mean! ...
Oh, just give me the word!
Lady:
No thank you, sir! ... Absolutely not! ... Good day!
Oh, who do you think you are, give me the boot?!
Spent me last copper... OY! ... to press up this suit!
Offered you nosh, at a proper posh place
And you turn up yer nose... huh! ... right in me face!
Get back to yer tea and yer fancy ah-tee-tah
I’m off to me pub fer a point and a larf!
You missed out on a gent,
Yeah, a real class act,
Too good fer ya anyways
And that’s a dead fact!
Cheerio then!
Ya bloody snooty tart!
