The Nude Polka Kings - The Fat Ass Polka

 The Nude Polka Kings latest submission concerns subject matter that some may find offensive. Folks that happen to possess a prodigious derrière may take offense with the lyrics, despite some lyrics that assure they mean no offense. But this group doesn't seem to be worried about offending people. Any group that gets their name from their reputation of playing polka dances in the nude has got to be thick skinned, so maybe they think everyone else should be.We've got some ample-assed people working here at Big And Tall Records, and when we played the recording those folks laughed especially loud. So take it for what it's worth.

Let me say it right away, 

I’ve got nothing against a fat ass 

Doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or man 

An older woman or a young lass 

 

But from our vantage point 

Watching over dancers loose 

We just can’t help but notice 

A BIG FAT CABOOSE! 

 

The fat ass polka, bouncing to and fro 

The fat ass polka, look at that thing go!

 Wiggles like its made of something as a rubber ball 

And makes a real soft cushion, if you take a fall! 

 

Some folks got one naturally 

Part of who they are 

They even get some flattery 

From lookers near and far 

 

But some people work to get them 

By eating lots of food 

Drinking beer and eating noodles 

And getting rather crude 

 

The fat ass polka, shimmy and they shake 

The fat ass polka, some cause an earthquake 

Jiggly and blubbery, saggier than hell 

Imagine when their pants drop, it stinks like hell! 

 

 If you’ve got a fat ass, 

I mean you no offense 

Do not mean to upset you

 Or put you on defense 

 

 It must be very burdensome 

Makes your life more hard 

To carry what amounts to 

A BIG CHUNK OF LARD! 

 

The fat ass polka, gives off lots of heat 

The fat ass polka, there's not much meat 

Not like prime steak marbled, it’s not at all like that 

There’s muscle there but deeply covered by thicknesses of FAT! 

 

Be careful there! 

Don’t bump butts! 

The reverberations 

Will bring the house down! 

 

If you’ve got a fat sweaty ass, 

I mean you no offense 

Do not mean to upset you

 Or put you on defense 

 

 It must be very burdensome 

If you don't have a big belly 

To counterbalance all that weight 

With a huge ass made of jelly! 

 

The fat ass polka, largest we've ever met 

The fat ass polka, gives off lots of sweat 

It trickles down their leg and then before its through 

Collects in their shoes and makes a smelly brew!

 

 The fat ass polka!