Looking at our catalog, the main criterion may be said to be artistry. Yeah, a pretty fuzzy and personal idea, so that's why whenever we get a recommendation and a recording of a potential artist for our label, we gather at our great round table, usually at least a dozen associates and executives to determine if we should take the artist on. Sometimes the discussions can get rather loud, as pros and cons make their opinions known. Such was the case for Leroy 'Hambone' Riley. But the pros won out, despite the argument that we've got enough artists that aren't in the mainstream, which Hambone surely isn't in the mainstream!
The associate that heard him perform live said that he came out on stage kind of timidly, but as soon as the music started he became transformed. His eyes bugged out as his mouth let out a coarse voice that sung off the wall lyrics about God knows what. That seems to be right up our alley!
Hambone isn't well known outside of the cheap dive bars he plays in, but others in the music community know of him. In fact, Forgotten Bob knows him quite well, and wrote this song for him, 'Get Yer Finger Out My Butt!' We talked to Forgotten Bob over the phone when we heard Hambone to see what he thought of him. Gotta be different for Forgotten Bob to like you, let alone write a song for you! He did tell us how he got the name 'Hambone'. Seems he used to be a cook in the Army a long time ago, and he was assigned to the ham hocks and beans detail, as everyone raved about how he made it. He liked to put a raw ham bone in the pot to add flavor, so he started trimming off most of the meat left on a ham bone in the cooler. His NCO came in, chastised him for wasting food as there was already ham hocks in the pot. Hambone tried to explain to him that all he wanted was the bone, but the Sergent insisted he put it back in the cooler. Leroy was known to have a temper, and in a fit of pique he hit the Sergent over the head with it from behind! Now this was a raw ham bone, and a raw ham bone is really strong, almost impossible to break, and the Sergent went down in a heap in the cooler. There was an investigation and when the Sergent testified, he said he didn't know what happened. His memory was blank. Hambone got off easy, and the Sergent later told him that he lied to the investigators. He knew he got hit with a raw ham bone, but Hambone was his best cook and he didn't want to lose him. Hambone and the Sarge came to be friends, and that's why they call him Hambone! So remember, if you want to smack somebody with a ham bone, make sure it's a raw one...
Me and my ol' lady been together many years
Our love for each other has continued to grow
We get along well, never squabble or fight
But part of our relationship isn't good though...
Our sex life sure is a big bore
We decided to try some things
That could give our sex some wings
But I didn't know what was in store...
Woman, get yer finger out my butt!
What in hell is wrong with you
You're into it, ain't a good fit
What in hell am I gonna do?
Woman, get yer finger out my butt!
When I did the same to you
You had a fit, told me to quit
You keep it up with me, it's true!
We tried all kinds of different stuff, toys and such
Fancy frilly underwear, dildos Viagra too
Role playing, slippery stuff, books and videos as well
We found some techniques we both like, but all you wanna do...
Jab yer finger in my ass
What in hell's it do for you?
You've got a hidden kink
Who knew what you'd get into?
Woman, get yer finger out my butt!
I don't think you're very well!
Finger's in it, covered with shit
My bung hole is starting to swell!
Woman, get yer finger out my butt!
What is your obsession?
You take delight, don't treat me right
Every single sexual session!
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