Chuck Wagon Calhoun sings his latest song about Dead-Eye Calhoun, a gunslingin' ,cross-eyed, woman shootin', not too bright ancestor. We're still not sure who in hell this Chuck Wagon is, but we like his songs, written with his tongue firmly in cheek!
Howdy
My name's Chuck Wagon Calhoun
Thought ya'll might like to hear the tale of
my ancestor, the gunslinger Dead Eye Calhoun!
My name's Chuck Wagon Calhoun
Thought ya'll might like to hear the tale of
my ancestor, the gunslinger Dead Eye Calhoun!
A man that lived long ago
A gunslinger in the old west
His fame he come by honestly
But he twernt better than the rest
Wanted to be a gunslinger
Ever since he were a kid
But his eyes crossed afore his nose
Glasses down his face they slid
Deadeye Calhoun, a real killer
Yer chance of dyin' were mighty
If ya stood smack dab behind him
You would meet the almighty
He done put notches on his gun
Fer ever one he done kilt
But they twern’t all men, no indeed
In shootin' gals he were skilled
The safest place to stand
When he drawed on men he despised
Was right in front the dumb ass
Cuz of his googlin' eyes!
Deadeye Calhoun, a real killer
Yer chance of dyin' were mighty
If ya stood smack dab behind him
You would meet the almighty
Deadeye made his rounds of the towns
Of fame in the old, old west
Dodge City and Laredo,
Tombstone, El Paso, and the rest
Was in the town of Wichita
When drunk, and full of cruel hate
He drew down on a rival
And Deadeye met his fate
He got a bead on the cuss
He drawed first and pulled the trigger
He missed who he wanted to kill
Caused the crowd watchin' to snigger
The bullet left the pistol
Careened off towards a water pump
Ricocheted off the metal
Come back and hit him in his rump
It went through both his ass cheeks
Hoot and hollered out his head
Took off runnin' down the street
As the wounds gushin' they bled
He kept on shootin' his guns
'Til he run out of ammo
Fell down in the dusty street
As the blood continued to flow
He bled out right then and there
To die like that might not seem fair
Fer an old west gunslinger
But ain't nobody seemed to care...
Deadeye Calhoun, a real killer
Yer chance of dyin' were mighty
If ya stood smack dab behind him
You could meet the almighty
So there's the story of Deadeye Calhoun My Ancestor
Best I can figger; he was my Grampaw 4 times over
My other relations ain't talkin' to me no more since I tol' the story.
and I know why...
Cuz Deadeye was not only a cruel bastard,
He was a no account murderous boil on the ass
of society that deserved to die in the dirty, cow shit covered streets
of Wichita cuz he was a heartless sum bitch and...a real dumb shit!
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