The Nude Polka Kings - Pigs In A Polka

 The Nude Polka Kings make the rounds of the nudist camps in  the summer, and yes, they perform in the nude like their name implies. They also tour in the winter, but with clothes on for obvious reasons. There's only one nudist Polka Dance Hall in the country, and they run it! 

This song was suggested by one of our more obscure associates (no names please!). He also recommended Melvin Peckerwood and The Mama's Boys to us, and that group is proving to be more and more popular. The Polka Kings are a little more limited in their repertoire, and no matter how clever it is, Pigs In The Polka probably won't make them an  overnight sensation. We here at Big And Tall Records thought it was clever anyway, if a little offbeat. But the aforementioned associate specializes in oddball, offbeat stuff! 

I've seen pigs in a blanket, Seen pigs in a sty, 

Seen pigs out in space, heard pigs squeal and cry. 

Seen food made from them, at the butcher shop 

But pigs in a polka? When will it ever stop? 

 

 Pigs in a polka, a sight so odd 

Pigs in a polka, with big fat bods,

 A porcine nightmare, I hope I never see, 

Pigs in a polka, seems so weird to me. 

 

Who ever thought of it, surely makes no sense. 

Nothing against pigs, but I think they're too dense. 

They can't play music, and they sure can't dance. 

So why pigs in a polka, and take a chance! 

 

Pigs in a polka, with rolls of fat! 

Pigs in a polka, ain't where it's at! 

A piggy hell, to haunt eternally, 

Should not be a pigs destiny! 

 

 I hear them oink I hear them squeal. 

Hear them make a fuss, over not a big deal. 

So what good are they, on the dance floor! 

With mamas and their piglets, and a big, fat boar! 

 

Pigs in a polka, they dance before my eyes! 

Pigs in a polka, it wasn't very wise! 

Such a piggy mess, don't step in it! 

 Pigs in a polka, don't care where they shit! 

 

I hear them raise the roof I hear them run everywhere, 

See them roll around in mud, get it caked in their hair

 Imagine dancing, sliding each which ways 

The polka and mazurka and the polonaise! 

 

Pigs in a polka, the grunting hurts my ears! 

Pigs in a polka, fills me with fears! 

Such sloppy things, no manners too! 

 Pigs in a polka, do what pigs do! 

 

 Is it all a rumor, or is it for real? 

Are the pigs of this world really out to steal, 

The polka from us all, I don't know why they would. 

They should for get about it, Stay in the sty where they should! 

 

 Pigs in a polka, they taste mighty good to me! 

Pigs in a polka, that's how it should be! 

I know it's a morbid fate, 

But they belong on my plate! 

 

As Bacon, chops, tenderloin, roast, sausage, anything but in a polka!

 

 

Melvin Peckerwood and The Mama's Boys - Give Us Pizza!

Some of our artists do have their serious  side, but Melvin Peckerwood and The Mama's Boys usually keep it light, and more often than not, with their tongue firmly in cheek! This time it's all about...PIZZA! We at Big And Tall Records agree; give us pizza!

 When I get hungry, my belly's a growlin' 

 Not just anything my mouth wants to be gnawin'. 

So me and my baby don't want no stallin' 

Give us something real Italian! 

 

Give us pizza! Nice and greasy! 

Makes it go down slick and easy! 

Make it big one, for me and my lovey, 

But for heaven's sake, hold the anchovy! 

 

 Burgers are fine, really good food, 

but we're really not in the mood!

 Ham sandwich and swiss 

We'll have to dismiss, 

And we really hate to be rude, But 

 

Give us pizza! We got the fidgets! 

Give us some we can eat with our digits! 

But check it all over before it bakes, 

No hot peppers! We’ll get bellyaches! 

 

We like lots of mozzarella, 

pepperoni too! 

Sausage and onions, 

Sweet peppers will do! 

 

 Give us pizza! Make it quick! 

Juicy and hot, with a big bread stick! 

Pile it on thick, with portions ample, 

But holy moly! Hold the pineapple! 

 

Chef's salad is great, but will have to wait!, 

Hot dogs and fries we don't want on our plate,

 Baloney with mustard, 

Will just leave us flustered, 

C'mon we can hardly wait, So 

 

 Give us pizza! Make it a lot! 

Pile it high, let's see what ya got! 

we want to eat so much our bellies will bust, 

But jeepers creepers! Hold the thick crust! 

 

 We’ll eat while we sit in our stall, 

Just in case we can’t eat it all, 

We’ll take a to go box, just perchance, 

There’s any left over……FAT CHANCE! 

 

Give us pizza! We got waterin’ tongues! 

Before we start yellin’ at the top of our lungs! 

Starvation over us really looms, 

For pete sakes, hold the mushrooms! 

 

 

Tugboat Jackson - Take Care What You Choose To Believe

 Tugboat's recent semi-retirement has seen him produce new songs at a faster pace than usual. As usual, there's food for thought in his latest, and we at Big And Tall Records look forward to his next song! He's on the verge of having enough material for an album!

Some folks got an axe to grind,

 Lotta folks got an axe to grind, 

Do anything to try and change your mind. 

 

Should make you think when ideas sound great, 

Really make you think, when ideas sound great, 

But are they based on love, or hate? 

 

Take care what you choose to believe, 

Tugboat Jackson

Careful what you choose to believe, 

Don't let it be somethin' to make you grieve! 

 

 Most folks just tryin' to live their life, 

That's enough, just tryin' to live your life.

 Get rid of them that bring nothing but strife. 

 

Most folks are honest, to a degree. 

I believe most are honest to a degree, 

But be wary, of false honesty! 

 

Take care what you choose to believe, 

Careful what you choose to believe, 

Don't let it be somethin' to make you grieve! 

 

Preachin' violent revolution, you’ll pile up the dead. 

Those that do don’t care ‘bout, pilin’ up the dead. 

Ain't there somethin' else we can do instead? 

 

 Corruption and lies breed death as well, 

Liars and cheaters, breed death as well. 

How many will die? Impossible to tell!

 

 Wanna change institutions, I’m with you.

 Wanna help the downtrodden, I’m with you! 

All ya want is power? TO HELL WITH YOU! 

 

Tugboat, tell us some wisdom they say. 

Tugboat, tell us some wisdom they say. 

You think an ol’ blues singer got it, anyway? 

 

 Take care what you choose to believe, 

Careful what you choose to believe, 

Don't let it be somethin' to make you grieve!

 

Sammy's Aria from - 'The Barber Of Paducah'

 A new recording of another part from The Barber Of Paducah by Travis V. McGonigle. We know that  the composer (who also wrote the libretto) has been making changes as the revision continues, sometimes rather important changes. We at Big And Tall Records don't have access to the original music or libretto so we can't make those distinctions,  but Luigi Trasudante, the tenor who is portraying Luigi the barber, has told us about some of them:

Yes! The composer has taken some recommendations under consideration and is implementing some major changes in the plot that also affects the music of course. The biggest change is the relationship between the barbers and the town. Without giving anything away, all I'll say is that the original opera had a very tragic ending, whereas now it will end on a different note, and the fate of some of the characters changes as well. Mr. McGonigle's health has actually improved since I started working with him. At first, he was very frail, couldn't get much work done in a day, and needed frequent rest breaks, some time for days. Now, he is in much better health despite his years. He's not exactly doing jumping jacks, but he does get a lot of work done each day. I think it stems from his improved attitude, and working with myself and other musicians that really do have an interest in the work no doubt is the reason. This work was written way back in 1952, and outside of a few private performances by singers with a piano reduction of the score, has been completely ignored. It is my belief that the work has merit. It has drama, a rather topsy -turvy plot (especially with the revisions), and is not without humor, some of it rater subtle, some of it bordering on slapstick. And of course, there is what at the time was very provocative language in the libretto that really held the work back, but in these modern times, isn't nearly so controversial, although the racial and ethnic slurs are going to be an issue. But Mr. McGonigle is adamant about keeping most of them, as he wants to portray people the way they really were (and still are). This continues to be a passionate project that I really believe in. But honestly, Mr. McGonigle might be feeling better, but he's still a rough talking, no bull shit guy, a product of a bygone age in America. Rewarding as  the music may be, he's still a major pain in the ass to deal with!

To set the scene for this recording: Sammy Gabbles, the hardware store owner, tries to rabble rouse some men at his store to got to the barbershop to harass, and maybe even do violence against Luigi and Antonio.

Ya'll know what I'm a talkin' 'bout!

Most of us been into Luigi's shop, 

done our share of things we shouldn't have. 

And if it 'twernt fer that damn dago 

offerin' them things up, we would never done 'em.

 Now there’s an outbreak of the clap! 

And there twernt none of that until they got here neither!

  And that cock hound Luigi's been dickin' 

some of our wives and womenfolk 

as well, spreadin' the disease, 

havin' infected whores spreadin it too! 

We can go to the law, but the sheriff won't do nothin'! 

Here's what I think we gotta do!

 

 Git all our menfolk together, 

head over to their barbershop! 

Tell 'em once and fer all, 

that all the nonsense gotta stop! 

 

We scare the shit out a both 'em, 

threaten them with a right sound whuppin'! 

And if they give us any guff, any shit at all, 

we right then give 'em both an ass whuppin'! 

 

 Our fair town of Paducah needs 

to be cleaned of all the sin! 

If we don't do it now, 

We'll all turn rotten from within! 

 

Ya'll gotta stop going to their shop.

 Sinnin' up and down ,to and fro,

 No more gamblin, blowjobs or whoring,

 Climb out that dirty black hole! 

 

Git back to yer homes, straighten up yer life! 

Spend time with yer children,

 Rescue yer lovin' wife! 

The goddam dirty dago treats our wives like whorehouse bitches! 

Ya know our womenfolk are weak, 

and can be influenced by sons of bitches! 

 

Delmar Gentry - My Four Legged Amigos

Delmar Gentry continues with his life story, and this is the first recording to come out of his own home re4cording studio.  He's still getting settled in, and sings about the new friends he's made, especially the four legged ones! Delmar was born and raised in southern Ohio near Cincinnatti, which has some southern culture influence as it's right on the Ohio River, just across the river from Kentucky. Delmar's Grandparents lived on a farm,and he would work on their farm every summer as well as when he was going to law school. He's always had a slight southern accent, but we can tell by his singing that it's getting more southern all the time, although Arizona and Flagstaff in particular is not considered a southern state, but is part of the Southwest area of the U.S., which is culturally different than the south. 

 

But there is a definite Hispanic influence in the state, mostly in the southern part, but somewhat in Flagstaff as well. We know Delmar's tickled to have his own horses now. He was raised around them as there were many horse people around his Grandparents farm. He learned how to ride while quite young, and always wanted horses. But after he graduated from law school and started working for a big firm in Cincinnatti, he didn't have any time for horses, or hardly anything else! 

It's not very often someone who is as good at his job as Delmar was, just decides to retire. He retired at the top of his game, getting huge retainers from his clients, and was really prudent with how he spent and invested his money. So now he can work at what he wants to work at; his ranch, his music, and anything else that takes his fancy! And with his own state of the art recording studio, he's invited Big And Tall Records to use his facility any time we want! So some associates are going out there later in the year to check it out! In the meantime, word has gotten out in the country music world, and he's got many top notch country musicians heading out there to record with him! 

 

Made some new friends out here in Flagstaff, 

Doyle and Blanche, his dear wife. 

Amos, a right good ranch hand, 

And Marie, who feeds me just right! 

Got some part time hands, 

that go to school during the day. 

They all work hard to keep this place goin', 

Wouldn't have it any other way. 

 

 Can’t forget my four legged amigos, 

I see them every day. Race the ranch dog, where I go, he goes, 

Usually runnin' all the way! 

 

Six horses came with the ranch. 

Two of them have Doyle's loyalty 

That leaves me four left over, 

but they sure ain't all for me! 

Two Morgan geldings, two sweethearts, 

That are a little too well fed, 

A chestnut Arabian, a beautiful guy, 

And a lone mare Saddlebred. 

 

Don't forget my four legged buddies, 

I see them every day without fail, 

Horses out in the paddock, prancin' 'round, 

Me sittin' and watchin' on the fence rail. 

 

The snow out here is heavy, 

not by the inches, by the feet.

 But it don't last long, the sun comes out, 

Melts it and cleans it up neat. 

The horses got their winter coats,

 covered in warm, thick fur. 

They don't seem to mind at all, 

Still run around outside in a blur. 

 

Doyle and his wife are throwin' me a party, 

invitin' all the neighbor's 'round, 

So I can talk and meet them all, 

And enjoy the happiness I've found.

 Asked Marie to do the cookin', 

Her good food's a perfect fit. 

Told her I'd pay her extra for her work, 

She said,"No you won't! Glad to do it!"

 

 

Tugboat Jackson - Whose Fault Is It Now, Mr Brown?

 We've heard that this recording is Tugboat Jackson's first one after he decided to turn over his hardware store to his son and retire, at least semi-retire. He's going to work a few days a week to help his son with the transition, plus he wants to still wait on customers. As he puts it:

Naw, I just can't up and quit, although money wise I could. Been doin' it for too long, got some customers that I've been giving service to for 30 years, and I'm gonna need to ease out of it. Quittin' cold turkey would probably kill me! So me and my boy have an agreement that I help out at the store in busy times and when he's labor short. Gives me way more time for music, and since I've laid down a few songs, seems like ideas are poppin' into my head left and right for new ones! So I'm lookin' forward to workin' with you at Big And Tall Records, and appreciate all you've done for me.

Tugboat Jackson

Some of our associates paid a visit to his hardware store, and they related that it's just like the old time hardware stores that have everything under the sun in them. All different sizes of screws, nails, nuts, bolts, right on down the line. And Tugboat knows where everything is at, right down to the smallest screw! 

Mr. Jenkins song gives us pause to wonder about the proverbial Mr. Brown he asks the question to, who is he? We think we get the message of the song, so give a listen and see if you can too. It's not a tough mystery at all...

Whose fault is it now, Mr. Brown? 

“It's the powers that be,” he growled. 

“But it sure in hell ain’t me!,” he howled, 

Just whose fault is it now, Mr. Brown? 

 

The Times newspaper story today, 

Pointed fingers all directions 

War, famine and insurrections 

Got what they deserve! they say. 

 

 “Things are better,” politicians said.

 “See anyone starvin’?” they bark, 

“You must have missed the mark,

 “The streets ain't piled with the dead!!" 

 

Law and ethics be dryin’ up. 

They tell me, “Always the same palaver! 

This country’s like a cadaver!”

 It’s your puny brain dryin’ up!” 

 

 I’m old, won’t have to struggle much more. 

The generations to come 

Be the ones to succumb, 

They’re the ones we should worry for. 

 

Be like it was in the old West. 

Anybody gives us lip, 

Use six guns on our hip, 

See which one of us is best. 

 

Have colonies in outer space, some day. 

Still won't bother to think,

 make outer space stink! 

Just like we did to earth in our day.

Percy McCoy - Jerkin' My Gherkin

Percy McCoy

Well, what can we say? We at Big And Tall Records had it on good authority what to expect from Percy McCoy, and he's true to form with this new song. Strictly adult music (like all of his songs!) this relates how his evenings are being spent all alone, now that he's four times divorced. He spent some time with his friends getting into mischief, but it seems that he's reflecting on his life, and why his relationships all turn sour for one reason or the other. One of our associates that knows him well says that Percy is going through a lot of soul searching, and in the process is growing more lonely by the day. 

Chin up, Percy! Keep writing and performing your music! 

All by myself, lived 40 years, 

Truth be told, led many lives, 

Just gettin’ finances out of arrears, 

Cuz I’ve had myself 4 lovin’ wives! 

 

They’s all exes now, a damn good thing,

 One cheated on me, another a bitch, 

One of them was crazy, wanted to swing,

 One thought she married a man was rich! 

 

So I sit alone every single night, 

Watch TV, play music and read, 

Listen to the next door neighbors fight, 

And glad to know that it ain’t me!.... 

 

So I’m Jerkin’ my gherkin, pullin’ the pud, 

Dinkin’ the dolphin, shootin’ the crud. 

Only trouble is I’m formin’ blisters, 

On Rosie palm and her five sisters! 

Whuppin' the weasel, smackin' the stick, 

Pumpin' the puma, spankin' the monkey, 

Poundin' it 'til it throws up gets sick, 

With no woman, sure saves money! 

 

That's all well and good, as far as it goes. 

But I must admit, gets a little borin'. 

Ain't that much to take off yer clothes 

When there ain't a woman with ya lookin'. 

 

But I ain't ready for 'nother woman yet, 

Tryin' to do what I want with my life. 

Afraid to get even a girlfriend yet, 

She might turn into wife number 5! 

 

 So I sit alone with the shades drawn down, 

Let my imagination run free, 

Make it all romantic with the lights turned down, 

And then proceed to lovin' on me!... 

 

So I’m Chokin' the chicken, doin' myself,

 Git my dirty books all off the shelf, 

Turn on the TV, play me some porn, 

Try to not look so sad and forlorn.... 

 

Dance it around, makin' it stout, 

Waggin, and smackin' and bobbin' about, 

Try to get that feelin' that's good and funny, 

But down deep I miss havin' a honey! 

 

So I think to myself I need to find a partner, 

Then I scratch that idea right out of my head! 

Just back on my feet money wise for a starter, 

I'll just stay alone in my bed instead. 

 

I heard some guys can suck their own tally whacker! 

Goddam, I wouldn't do that if'n I could. I know where that things been!