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| Hokie Carmichael Orchestra |
One Christmas Eve it was snowin'
Decided to go out for a walk.
Wind was pretty calm, wasn't blowin'
Heard a noise, looked up
Santa his sleigh and reindeer,
I couldn't believe my eyes,
They were doing loop de loops,
Believe me I'm tellin' no lies!
Santa Claus got in the stash,
Funny things on top the cookies.
Maybe brownies full of hash!
Reindeer flyin' like rookies!
I kept on watchin' them fly,
Couldn't believe all the stint!
Goin' upside down and to the side,
Why, maybe I got a hint!
Santa Claus got in the stash,
Think all the reindeer did too.
Cuz Santa looks real bashed,
Hangin' off the side like a fool!
Santa hollers, slurrin' his words,
"You all have a Merry Chrishmush!"
Got his head stuck down in his sack,
Exposin' his bare flabby tush!
Santa Claus got in the trash,
Maybe some cookies with a gummie!
Reindeer are headed for a crash,
'Less Santa quits actin' like a dummy!
I see in his mouth is his pipe
He lights it and takes a big puff!
Doesn't blow out no smoke for awhile,
Then his drivin' gets really rough!
Santa Claus got in the shit,
Don't think it's alcohol!
Cat looks like he's havin' a fit!
Look out! He's headin' for a fall!
Santa fell out the sleigh,
Reindeer don't see it at first,
But they won't let him fall long, no way!
They catch him with a sudden burst!
Santa Claus just had a close one!
Now he's sittin' there pretty calm.
Reindeer have straightened out,
And Santa's sittin', cozy and warm!
He starts calling them by name,
but he doesn't get any of them right:
On Basher, Duncer, Prankster, and Vicks!
on Grommet, Stupid, Dandruff and Blitzed"
"Randolph with your nose so bright!
Where in hell are ya tonight?"
Randolph is belly up down there,
Sound asleep on a roof.
Looks like he's happy and square,
With his tongue hangin' out like a goof...........
Have A Merry Chrish Mush
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