Percy McCoy - Somethin' To Do With My Time

 There was a gap between Percy's first recording and this one, evidently he went through a divorce - another one. For a man that's only in his middle forties age wise, he sure believes in marrying.Four wives, four divorces! So now that he's a free man once again, he's looking for something to fill up his idle time. 

His songs tend to be obviously autobiographical, so he's tried a lot of different hobbies or past times besides sitting in a tavern drinking beer! This song is about his latest foray into looking for the right thing to spend his time at. We  won't spill the beans about what that is, it's all there in the song! 

Lookin’ for different shit to do with my time, 

Somethin’ that I could afford, 

Can’t be sittin’ drinkin’ all the time, 

Costs too much money, I get bored. 

 

Ain’t much for readin’, can’t paint a lick. 

Can't do no writin’, smell of burnt food makes me sick. 

Tried shootin’ craps, but I can’t figure out the damn bets, 

Tried playin’ poker, but ain't got the sense. 

 

 Tried playin’ chess, but even CHECKERS too hard, 

Tried line dancin, but I dance like a tub a lard! 

Tried raisin’ dogs, but can’t stand the fleas! 

Tried makin’ honey, but allergic to the bees! 

 

Some of my buddies go to cock fights, 

Wanted to take me to the sin, 

But turned ‘em down because 

with my li’l talleywhacker thought I ‘d never win! 

 

But one night when I was drinkin' in a bar, 

There’s a ruckus and the doors opened up. 

People carryin' all kinds of shit, 

Then come in a whole herd of MIDGET fuckers!! 

 

The bartender gave me ‘nother beer, 

And I asked him "what the hell’s goin’ on?" 

He said, “Well friend, what we got right here 

Is a night of little people, a.k.a. midget bowlin’!” 

 

 YA GOTTA BE SHITTIN' ME!! 

 

Bartender said, “Hell, it’s for real, ain’t legal, 

But if them little fuckers be that insane to do it, 

We’ll try it out, give 'em a chance, 

don’t care if it is illegal!” 

 

Little shits all padded up. 

some in tights, some in trunks. 

Some real calm, some a screamin, 

A little cutie blonde, a real chunk! 

 

Place yer bet, don't you fret, 

Midget bowlin' is cool! 

Lane number one, or number two, 

Naw, it ain't really cruel. 

 

That blonde little girl, 

knew how to slick the lane, 

she start to spin and twirl,

 goin' down the lane insane! 

 

She took down all the pins, 

So I never did pass 

I bet real big money, 

on her lumpy bumpy li'l ass. 

 

Place yer bet, don't you fret, 

Midget bowlin' is cool! 

Lane number one, or number two, 

Naw, it ain't really cruel. 

 

She made me some dough, and worked real hard. 

Afterwards, even though she was tired, went out with me to the car. 

Whatever money I made bettin’ on her ass, 

I put it right back on it….. For services rendered! 

 

 Ain't never tried it, don't knock it I say!

 Li'l people love mighty fine anyway!

 Play yer cards right (or yer bets) 

You'll find out, it's better'n okay! 

 

Midget bowlin's a lot of fun, 

Midget fuckin' shore is too! 

Don't care if there ain't much to 'em, 

It's easy, just got one rule. 

 

Don't ever pass, 

when it's their turn to go, 

Bet yer money on their ass,

 And you'll get to have a go! 

 

YEEEEHAW!