Milford Boil - Atomic Farts

Milford Boil

Our resident demon plagued artist is back with his latest excursion into disgusting workings of his body. This time he bemoans a case of excessive, odorous, flatulence. Or to put it more crudely, Atomic Farts. Milford has the uncanny knack of putting his personal experience and observation into song, and in this one he questions what could e the cause of his flatulence, something he ate? The broccoli, hard boiled eggs, pizza? Really, Milford? 

The music is hard driving, possibly representing the steady progress of intestinal gas careening through his bowels until it exits with a flourish. Milford has deemed it valuable to add appropriate sound effects to the music as well, some of which he supposedly are his real farts he recorded during the episode. The visual we have of the positions he had to get in to capture these rumblings for posterity are not pretty...

It started one night, early into the morning. 

A funny feeling in my gut woke me up. 

I lay there tossing and turning, 

And wondered what was going on, what was up? 

 

 I rolled over on my side, had an urge to lift my leg, 

I really don't know why. 

It was then that it started, rumblings coming forth, 

It stunk so bad it made me cry! 

 

 Atomic farts, coming out of me! 

What brought it on, was a mystery.

 Loud and raucous long lasting as well, 

and then....the horrid.....SMELL!!!!! 

 

Spent the rest of the night in a fitful sleep, 

Rolling, tossing turning, restless. 

Just as I would start to drift in slumber deep, 

It'd start again, terrible and relentless! 

 

Atomic farts, coming out of my ass! 

Toxic waves of putrid, musty gas! 

I tried to keep in my gut, try to inner hold, 

But the powerful fart came forth bold! 

 

I took some pepto doses, to try and control it, 

But the taste of it almost make me sick! 

Wished I could just get up and take a shit, 

Maybe get it out my system real quick. 

 

After an hour or so, I felt the urge, 

To go in a do a powerful purge. 

Would the farts stop when I get all cleaned out, 

Or would it only lead to a second bout?

 

 Sat down on the crapper, started to read a book. 

The farts were so strong, the commode shook! 

I felt the release of lots of fecality, 

And hoped it would lead to peace for me! 

 

But a half hour later it started again! 

The rumbling, twisting, asshole gaping, 

So nasty and smelly, it made my head spin! 

Was horrible! I really wasn't faking! 

 

WHAT CAUSED IT? 

WAS IT SOMETHING I ATE? 

THE BROCCOLI? 

HARD BOILED EGGS, 

PIZZA? WHAT?