The Nude Polka Kings - The Undead Polka

 Well, the latest from The Nude Polka Kings is a stretch. We had to say it, but The Undead Polka, while being an original idea, might not take off within the polka community, outside of a Halloween dance. But never let it be said that we here at Big And Tall Records tell our artists what to record! We've had notions about recordings before that turned out to be popular, so who are we to decide? 

The song starts with a lengthy introduction about how the group is bored playing the same old songs at polka dances. We know they're not talking  about their own songs, like Pigs In A Polka, or The Smelly Feet Polka! Hardly anything hum drum about those ditties! More like the old chestnut of The Beer Barrel Polka. In any case, the intro is as long as the titled song. Decide for yourselves:

Playing in a polka band ain't what it's cracked up to be 

The same old songs, same old monotony 

Even when we get the chance to play a nudist colony 

The same old stuff bouncing and jiggling, we get tired to see.

 

 Give us something different 

We're just going nuts

 Oompah, pah, oompah pah 

Naked jelly butts! 

We need to shake it up some

 For variety 

So let's do something strange 

Something differently 

 

Playing in a polka band ain't what it's cracked up to be 

The same old songs, same old monotony 

Even when we get the chance to play a nudist colony 

The same old stuff bouncing and jiggling, we get tired to see.

 

 Give us something different 

We're just going nuts

 Oompah, pah, oompah pah 

Naked jelly butts! 

We need to shake it up some

 For variety 

So let's do something strange 

Something differently

 

The undead polka, dance of mystery

The undead polka, LOOK! A ZOMBIE! 

We will play it, and see if it takes hold 

It's new, it's different, it's really bold! 

 

 If you're a zombie, and want to dance 

Drag your corpse out on the floor 

And we'll sure give you a chance 

But clean up your own gore! 

 

The undead polka, dance with no refrain 

The undead polka LOOK! A BLOODY BRAIN! 

Body parts strewn here and there 

And the stink of zombies everywhere! 

 

You best be a two legged zombie 

You'll have to think to stop

 If you've only got one leg 

All you can do is hop! 

 

 The undead polka, dance without any harm 

The undead polka, IT'S CHEWING ON MY ARM! 

Dragging feet, dripping goo 

The zombie polka might be for you 

 

Chomping on rotting flesh 

On vertebra til it's clean 

Using a finger bone as a toothpick 

Is more than just obscene! 

 

The undead polka, Might seem kind of nuts 

The undead polka,ZOMBIES SUCKING GUTS! 

Not room for anything but zombies with this dance 

But any other kinds of undead might deserve a glance 

 

Leg bone, arm bone, bowel and clot 

Gall bladder, slimy gunk 

Purulent excretia 

Pouring from body's trunk 

 

The undead polka, where do we get off? 

The undead polka MY GOD A FOOT JUST FELL OFF 

Dancers all have had enough 

They're leaving the floor in a huff 

Faces looking white and rough 

The undead polka, is not doing the trick 

All the gore has made the dancers sick!